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Message: <blockquote data-quote="the Jester" data-source="post: 1168627" data-attributes="member: 1210">Up the River (Without a Paddle)The party hires three sailors to help sail their knarr inland up the local river; after purchasing the boat, three is about all they can afford.  They decide to try to avoid hiring the local elves, since they're really snotty.  Then they waver, as Lyr brings up the fact that the locals know the territory.They end up hiring one of the elves.  His name is Urlah; he's a crack shot with a bow, which is one of the deciding factors.  There's also a wanted gnome named Jorallivan, quick on his feet and a member of the weird old faith that espouses the eating of the hearts of defeated opponents.  This is Lyr's religion, the cannabix faith, and one of the deciding factors in their hiring of Jorallivan.  Galliger scowls at him; he thinks everyone should follow Bleak.  Chanti scowls with him.  The third sailor is a human named Plarentes; he's old and foul, bald, with a pegleg, eyepatch and parrot.  As soon as they see him, they hire him.  Clearly he's got what a band of pirates wants.Finally, they hire on a halfling cook named Bilbo.  He's an avowed athiest, so Galiger immediately sets out to convert him.Malford, of course, is captain by acclamation; exactly how everyone agreed so easily to this is uncertain, but it went without a hitch.  He appoints Galiger his first officer.  They decide to leave in the morning; that evening, by luck, they fall into a job to retrieve a staff for a local Forinthian wizard from some scrags.  And so, the next morning, the Sea Hag heads upstream.  By late afternoon they've long since left the friendlier coastal elvish territory behind and thick jungle is bushed all along the river.  Insects buzz overhead; it's humid and hot.  The water flows sluggishly against their rowing.  Vido smokes a lot of weed, passing it around the party and the sailors.  "This place is beautiful," he sighs, a huge smile plastered below his bloodshot eyes.Then a green, scaly clawed arm emerges from the water, scrabbling for purchase on the side of the knarr.  "Trolls!" cries the sharp-eyed Vido, whipping out his swords, and springs to the attack.  More green hands are coming up, bulky forms striking into the knarr, trying to board the vessel.  Lyr hurls her harpoon, sticking one brutally in the gut, and Galiger whips his axe into another, but the press is getting nasty- there are at least three river trolls, maybe more!  Malford cries out as something happens to him.  He feels some of his magic tear from his mind!  I'm on that, he thinks, springing to the prow to seek the source of the strange attack.  "Attack!" he cries, and the party and their hirelings rally.  Then then gnome captain quaffs a potion of water breathing and dives from the deck of the Sea Hag into the river to engage the scrags on their own turf.The battle is fierce, but our heroes are victorious without serious casualties.  They retrieve the staff and get a reasonable amount of money (each of them walks away with 208 gp and 389 sp).  Better yet, Malford succeeds in obtaining the device that stole one of his spells.  It's a strange metal claw; he claims it and determines to study it and master its secrets.  While in town returning the wizard's staff the group runs across Dexter.  "Dex!" cries the Dread Pirate Malford.  "What happened to you?" -for he can see the hideous scarring on Dexter's forehead, relic of when the Inquisition branded him.  Dexter tells his tale, very subdued in tone, and Galiger's face darkens.  "So you turned to the Light," he sneers.  "Just remember who you already gave your soul to!  Galador can't save you, and if you don't turn back to the Darkness you're surely doomed!"  He stalks off, as angry as he's ever been.  After all, Dex was his first convert; that he should turn to Galador so easily chafes hard.  Nonetheless, Dex is welcomed back by Malford; and though Chanti and Galiger keep shooting evil looks his way and making snide remarks, there doesn't seem to be any violence imminent.  So it is that out heroes decide to head back upriver after Malford and Vido learn a spell or two from the wizard they aided, and thence try to seek the legendary Old Man Rhumy, an ancient elf said to be over 25,000 years old who lives with tigers.  Lyr first has a birthday party, getting the party roaring drunk and, with Vido's aid, extremely high.Then it's upriver again...Next Time: Okay, so it'll be a couple more updates, but pc deaths are just around the corner!  Next time, our heroes are Captured By Grugach!By the way, we're at game 9 by this point in the story hour...</blockquote>

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