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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Chaosmancer" data-source="post: 9492247" data-attributes="member: 6801228">I'm referring to the post from Emerkol that sparked this tangent. The one where he proposed that a majority of new DM's are too weak to resist the bullying of their players.I don't disagree with that. However, sometimes it needs to be considered that other people should adjust as well. Even without considering neuro-divergence, people have quirks. Me personally? If I'm not paying attention to not doing it, I have a habit of touching and moving pieces on board/card games. Someone rolls to move six spaces and draw a card, and I may end up grabbing their piece to move it for them, or draw the card to hand it to them. I'm not trying to be aggressive or over-bearing, I'm trying to be helpful and useful. But I know people can be upset by that, and so I tend to let people know, and to tell them to tell me to cut it out if I get annoying. A group adjusting to just how I am as a person is going to cause far less tension and problems than a group that insists I am the only one to change or adjust.Note how none of your language called new DMs weak, like the initial comment did? A persons choice of language when presenting an issue can color the issue. Presenting it as a problem of new DMs being too weak to stand up to their players presents a far different image than explaining that a group sometimes needs to find solutions with self-absorbed people. Some of whom MAY NOT REALIZE how they are acting.Is it? Sure, sometimes those people exist. Sometimes that isn't what is going on. Sometimes a person is going about their time, thinking everyone is fine, and suddenly they are being confronted with a series of things they didn't give a second thought to. But they will catch onto the fact that your thought process is "I have to be strong, and not let him bully me" which will make them defensive and less willing to adjust or change. Approaching with the mindset of "I need to find what works best for everyone, while not impacting THIS player's enjoyment too much" is more likely to get them to work with you, instead of against you.</blockquote>

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