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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Pielorinho" data-source="post: 149712" data-attributes="member: 259">I'm no real meter of successful relationships, but here are the ones I've gotten in:1) In high school, I decided to drop out, move to the West coast, and become a full-time ecoradical.  The day before I left, I talked to a girl (a casual friend) about it, fell madly in love, changed my plans, and stayed with her nearly two years.  None of the half-dozen or so major crushes I'd ever had had amounted to so much as a smooch.2) A couple years after we broke up, after a few failed attempts at various romances, I was getting ready to leave for college.  I went on a hike with a casual friend, spent the day hanging out with her, and fixed breakfast with her the next day.  She was a bit of a psycho, but we stayed together for several months.3) College was a sucky series of celibacies punctuated by about one one-night-stand each year.  Yuck4) The one relationship that I actually tried to get into was with a long-term friend.  I knew before I went into it that she was a stinking liar to her previous boyfriend; I just somehow didn't make the connection that she'd treat me the same.5) Another series of failed attempts at romance, including personals, casual meetings, even nighttime walks through the woods with cute women.  One personals ad progressed as far as a makeout session:  the next day, she told me that she still wasn't over her previous boyfriend and was freaking out.6) Dismayed, and disgusted with the whole thought of romance, I called my brother and told him I was driving up to his place for the weekend.  Drinking and video games, I thought.  No thoughts of smooching! Some friends of his were there when I got there, and one of them was kinda cute.  Next evening, she invited herself over for dinner and wine.  As my brother flirted with his new flame, as the Chattanooga Choo Choo played on the radio, she leaned back in my arms, and I (not expecting to) kissed her.That was three years ago.  She's finishing grad school next month, and then she's moving back to this town, and we're moving in together, and it's the best thing ever.**********I know not everyone's this way.  But when I get interested in a woman, if I don't KNOW that she likes me, know beyond a doubt, then I get all doubtful and nervous and second-guessing and desperate to have her like me and sweaty.  It's pretty unattractive.  The only good relationships I've gotten into are the ones that take me by surprise, the ones where I don't have a chance to think too much about it.Given some of the second-guessing in your posts, good Doc, I'm wondering if you're the same way.Daniel</blockquote>

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