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Dealing with a trouble player and a major blow up
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<blockquote data-quote="phantomK9" data-source="post: 6639157" data-attributes="member: 6790724"><p>I had a similar situation in our gaming group. The player in question had been a work friend of mine (he moved onto a different job) and the DM was gracious enough to let him join in our weekly game, since I thought he would mesh well. And for just over 2 years he worked out great. Lots of common interests and aside from a few hiccups not understanding some Fate character creation rules, it worked out fine.</p><p></p><p>Then we started a 5e game. It went downhill quickly with him constantly complaining about rules he didn't read completely and constantly re-configuring his character. But our DM took it all in stride. Then one night the game bogged down because he misinterpreted the opportunity attack rules, he became insulting to the rest of the table, and really made the DM mad. </p><p></p><p>Fortunately the guy was adult enough to realize that he strained the relationship and gracefully took himself out of the game for a month (over December). The DM communicated with him privately and just told him they were looking for different things from the game. </p><p></p><p>It sucks to loose a friend, even more to possibly loose multiple, but sometimes you have to cut the cord. Is keeping this friendship worth the stress it is causing in your life? My philosophy has been that life itself gives us enough stress that we don't need to invite more during our gaming sessions.</p><p></p><p>If you still want to stay friendly with the group, but D&D isn't as stress free as you would like, I suggest breaking out some card or other tabletop games. There are so many of them out there that you can even scratch the fantasy itch without the headaches of one player thinking your are out the get them, since the game applies the same set of rules to everyone.</p><p></p><p>Definitely do not ignore the situation. I hate to say it, but your roommate is wrong. That level of passiveness will only tell the player that his bad behavior has not consequences, which is most likely how he got to this position in the first place. You absolutely do not have to accept that behavior and pretend that nothing happened. If you do this he will only behave that way again, and this time it might escalate to physical violence against you or your stuff.</p><p></p><p>Be the adult, come to him calmly and as someone said above not with a bunch of "You's". But there must be a conversion, even if in private.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="phantomK9, post: 6639157, member: 6790724"] I had a similar situation in our gaming group. The player in question had been a work friend of mine (he moved onto a different job) and the DM was gracious enough to let him join in our weekly game, since I thought he would mesh well. And for just over 2 years he worked out great. Lots of common interests and aside from a few hiccups not understanding some Fate character creation rules, it worked out fine. Then we started a 5e game. It went downhill quickly with him constantly complaining about rules he didn't read completely and constantly re-configuring his character. But our DM took it all in stride. Then one night the game bogged down because he misinterpreted the opportunity attack rules, he became insulting to the rest of the table, and really made the DM mad. Fortunately the guy was adult enough to realize that he strained the relationship and gracefully took himself out of the game for a month (over December). The DM communicated with him privately and just told him they were looking for different things from the game. It sucks to loose a friend, even more to possibly loose multiple, but sometimes you have to cut the cord. Is keeping this friendship worth the stress it is causing in your life? My philosophy has been that life itself gives us enough stress that we don't need to invite more during our gaming sessions. If you still want to stay friendly with the group, but D&D isn't as stress free as you would like, I suggest breaking out some card or other tabletop games. There are so many of them out there that you can even scratch the fantasy itch without the headaches of one player thinking your are out the get them, since the game applies the same set of rules to everyone. Definitely do not ignore the situation. I hate to say it, but your roommate is wrong. That level of passiveness will only tell the player that his bad behavior has not consequences, which is most likely how he got to this position in the first place. You absolutely do not have to accept that behavior and pretend that nothing happened. If you do this he will only behave that way again, and this time it might escalate to physical violence against you or your stuff. Be the adult, come to him calmly and as someone said above not with a bunch of "You's". But there must be a conversion, even if in private. [/QUOTE]
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