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<blockquote data-quote="iserith" data-source="post: 6639354" data-attributes="member: 97077">This is how the OP perceives the reaction of the player and how he or she reports it to us. But the OP has also stated that he or she is quite willing to inflict what some might consider pretty boring or punitive consequences even for actions the character wouldn't likely take if the player was clear on setting expectations for the sake of &quot;realism.&quot; I could point out several examples (and did, in a roundabout way) from the OP's description of the game that would make me and those with whom I regularly play annoyed. Not because failure was possible or happened, mind you, but because of the way it was handled. What if the OP perceives the reaction of the player as not wanting any kind of adversity when really it's just the player objecting to him getting the lion's share of adversity or said adversity being boring or punitive?Again, this is not an excuse for the player's behavior. And I genuinely feel bad that the OP had to go through this kind of drama.What I see is a hot mess with multiple issues contributing to the event that was described. I will not exclude the possibility that the DM's approach contributed to the fallout.Honestly, I've never seen so much resistance to some simple self-reflection. &quot;What could I have done differently?&quot; would be the very first place I'd go when faced with this kind of situation. I think this is a prudent measure.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="iserith, post: 6639354, member: 97077"] This is how the OP [I]perceives[/I] the reaction of the player and how he or she reports it to us. But the OP has also stated that he or she is quite willing to inflict what some might consider pretty boring or punitive consequences [I]even for actions the character wouldn't likely take if the player was clear on setting expectations[/I] for the sake of "realism." I could point out several examples (and did, in a roundabout way) from the OP's description of the game that would make me and those with whom I regularly play annoyed. Not because failure was possible or happened, mind you, but because of the way it was handled. What if the OP perceives the reaction of the player as not wanting any kind of adversity when really it's just the player objecting to him getting the lion's share of adversity or said adversity being boring or punitive? Again, this is not an excuse for the player's behavior. And I genuinely feel bad that the OP had to go through this kind of drama. What I see is a hot mess with multiple issues contributing to the event that was described. I will not exclude the possibility that the DM's approach contributed to the fallout. Honestly, I've never seen so much resistance to some simple self-reflection. "What could [I]I[/I] have done differently?" would be the very first place I'd go when faced with this kind of situation. I think this is a prudent measure. [/QUOTE]

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