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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Majoru Oakheart" data-source="post: 6646336" data-attributes="member: 5143">I understand where you are coming from and I REALLY considered it.  But I wasn't just making a decision for me.  My roommate looks forward to playing this game every week since he joined a short while ago.  He's an interesting case himself, but he doesn't have a job or a car and he doesn't much like leaving the house.  He's pretty much told me that if I choose not to game with them anymore that means he can't go anymore.  He's made it clear to me(since he likes to point out to me, repeatedly and half seriously, that one day he will kill me in my sleep and doesn't care about my feelings...it's his thing) that his not going has nothing to do with solidarity with me or friendship but because he couldn't be bothered catching a bus every week to go to their house.  But that I should understand that if I left he would leave the group as well and he'd be disappointed about having to leave.Leaving means no longer being friends with his gf.  I don't like ending 12 year friendships over something this small.I understand that putting my foot down would feel good and would make a point.  I'm just not sure it would accomplish anyone.  He has the mentality of a 4 year old.  I expect that he'll respond like one in any serious discussion about what happened.  And he's gf will support him even if she disagrees with him because...well, see the above post about her and relationships.I just didn't want to get into it because of the complication of the story.  But since I've told half of it a couple of posts up, here's the deal:She dated a guy for years, since I've known her.  He was horrible to her.  She wasn't allowed to do anything with us unless he said it was ok.  He used to call her an idiot and stupid repeatedly right to her face in a group with 5 other people.  She'd often agree with him to get him to stop.  She had to leave in the middle of D&D games before because her bf would call and demand that she came home immediately because of something stupid like his inability to find something.  She'd apologize profusely and you can tell she didn't want to go, but she'd leave anyways because she has a fanatical devotion to whoever she is dating.  But when he wasn't around, you could see her real personality shining through...and I liked her.But she was dating someone and devoted to him so I stayed away.  When they broke up though, she turned to me for a place to live.  We started hanging out and watching movies together and it was fun.  It only lasted a month before she started dating this new guy, however.I was going to ask her out but she had just broken up with a guy after years of being together.  I felt I should give her at least a couple of months to get over the relationship before I even tried to move in.After I found out that she started dating the new guy, I was flabbergasted, I admit.  We had a conversation about it where I brought up my concerns that maybe she was moving too fast and that she was on the rebound and just looking for the first guy to come along and maybe she should give herself some time before dating anyone at all.I believe she made some comment that she didn't pick the first person to come along, that she wasn't dating ME, was she?  I think I asked why it would be so bad to date me and she pretty much said that she was not attracted to me in any way, shape, or form.  That the idea of dating me was something she could just not comprehend.  I cried that day and moved on.  No use pining after something that was impossible.  Besides, after she said that, my desire to date her went completely out the window.But as for how it relates to the guy.  I disliked the guy and was complaining about him for months before I had any inkling that she liked him.  I never even considered the possibility of her dating him because...well, he was kind of an idiot and I didn't think she'd do that to herself.  So, I was never jealous of him.  I just didn't like the way he played D&D.  And, really, his personality in general.  I admit the day I found out he didn't know what the word constable meant(or how to pronounce it) and had to suffer through an adventure read in monotone where I had absolutely NO idea what the adventure was about by the end because I don't think even HE knew what it was about, was the day that I completely lost it and haven't had any respect for him since then.  It was one of the worst D&D experiences of my life and he was singlehandedly the worst DM I've ever seen.  And that's saying something, in my travels I've met some bad DMs.When they started dating, it was one of the worst days of my life, I admit.  Not only was a woman I liked dating someone else, but it was someone I couldn't stand and could see no conceivable reason why she'd pick him over me.  Also, it meant solidifying him in our friend pool since being friends with her meant being friends with him.But over the years, I've learned the proper way to handle the situation and fit in the best I can.  I limit my interaction with him to non-emotional topics.  I can discuss how we both feel about a D&D class or a new board game.  I don't talk to him about relationships.  I no longer bring up my objections to their relationship.  I have my own girlfriend who I'm happy with.  I don't have any desire to date his gf any more.  I still think she should dump him because she's my friend and I see him as a corrupting influence on her.  I think he holds her back from realizing her true potential and as her friend I'd like to see her reach that.  Plus, then he wouldn't be around anymore which would remove one more annoyance from my life.So, in short, I don't think my feelings towards her were the cause of the problem.  But because I care about her well being it probably makes my annoyance with him worse.</blockquote>

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