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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Nellisir" data-source="post: 6694518" data-attributes="member: 70">There are tactics for speaking without arguing. For one, it seems like there were a lot of statements flying back and forth. Try asking questions, and restate what he said to make sure you understand it correctly. Also, maybe you should get up from the table and leave once in a while before things explode. Take a breather, or change the venue. There are arguments you just can't have sitting outside on the grass. Here on EN World you respond at length; it's not hard for me to imagine you as a person that has trouble disengaging from a heated conversation (although I don't know you, so maybe not).I make a really big point of referring to characters by their name, or by "your character", not "you" (unless it's in character and dice are rolling). The distinction between character and person is important to me, even when people are playing themselves. Every character I play is a facet of my personality, but they're not me. Amedi Vak is, deep down, a person driven by tragedy looking to die (similar to Maximus in Gladiator). Toad doesn't want to die, but has zero compunctions about sacrificing himself to save someone else (The Doctor - no one dies today!). Azae, my tiefling beguiler is trying desperately to be good, but doesn't fully understand it and tends to fall back on the old ways of wrath and ruin when truly angered (pretty much any movie that has someone beginning a systematic campaign of total destruction against the Forces of Evil.)They're all part of me, but they're not me. Amedi would go into Mulmaster to destroy the current evil lord - and the next one, if necessary. Toad would go in to save as many people as possible. Azae would go in to sow chaos and because it seems like a Heroic Action, and she desperately wants to be a Hero...but somewhere along the line, someone would make it personal, and then she'd level the place if necessary for revenge.Part of a player's responsibility is to not needlessly derail the plot, and that means finding justification for doing things that aren't obviously reasonable.</blockquote>

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