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Message: <blockquote data-quote="imabaer" data-source="post: 6710843" data-attributes="member: 6801588">I agree with you on this. People too often hide behind "well you've outraged me so I'm going to shut down discourse"; it's one of the reasons I avoid political discussions like the plague.It costs you nothing to be polite.4 here. 4 so much that you can't see the forest for the trees, and I have a feeling it's 4 more often than you admit to yourself.Note that I didn't say that it was WRONG to be right, or that you should never try to explain your side. I said you were emotionally invested in being proven right. Your response as a whole, if anything, seems to lend credence to that.Sometimes, people don't want the discourse. Sometimes, it should be obvious that the discourse is not a good idea. Using facts and logic as a means of solving disagreements only works if your audience operates the same way. Insisting upon it after it's clear it's not working is outright irrational.Literally everyone has opinions. The flaw part comes in when you try to convert others to your way of thinking, and don't take the hint of when it's not welcome.Again, you are trying to fix something you know from experience is unfixable. You know he's operating from an irrational hatred of things, you know he dislikes you, and you know that discourse isn't something likely to work. You are presenting your solution (a person he hates explaining to his face why his way of thinking is wrong, yet again) as the only viable option, when in fact:-You could've surreptitiously asked his girlfriend to help convince him, instead of directly confronting him.-You could've basically given him a compliment and said something along the lines of "look, I know you're not comfortable with the storyline. But you're an important member of the group and we really appreciate you being around."-You could've gone for a compromise; since it seems like you guys can homebrew, maybe have his GF run a custom campaign after about overthrowing the evil government?-You could've done almost ANYTHING else that while less based in logic, would be more rational for a social setting.Logic is not a cudgel for all of life's disagreements.Because one is implying that a playstyle aside from yours is incorrect and inadequate; the followup implication is that they either need to "fix" themselves or leave. The other is acknowledging that different people are good at and enjoy different things. One is rigid and inflexible, the other comes off as way less uptight.It's normally not the sort of thing I would even comment on, but it's the core of your problem.Actually look at what you wrote, though: this is more than you trying to be factually accurate. This is you giving me a blow by blow of why a player you don't like was wrong, and why you were justified in your actions. The details are important enough for you to not only remember, but to tell me exactly how she's breaking the rules and display her idiocy/irrationality for all to see."She doesn't understand the rules" or "She's a disruptive player who constantly causes problems" or "It's incredibly to frustrating to play with her and she left on her own steam anyway" would have all sufficed. Had I called that into question, the details would've been helpful. But it's something that's eating away at you badly enough for you to include by default.Your old group has also imploded, (arguably) partially due to you. You can't expect perfection from the get go, and weak players can eventually become stronger players. But you were dismissive before you even started.Also, pedantic side note to try to point something out: This is, logically speaking, a poor argument. You're appealing to the majority here. But you're still using it as additional justification. While illogical, it's still a rational thing to do. Nobody uses solely facts and logic to prove their point. Social dynamics matter as well, which is some of the less trollish responses have been trying to communicate. You were probably factually correct in how you dealt with your problem player, but socially? You botched your rolls there.</blockquote>

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