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<blockquote data-quote="hirou" data-source="post: 8224931" data-attributes="member: 6776023">I'm focusing on a relatively minor point out of context, but I feel this is important enough. In a modern society there is a set of expected norms and behavior patterns, which in theory helps us coexist. Empathy. A bit of modesty. Politeness in speech. The problem is, when someone disregards these paradigms when others comply with them, he can usually achieve a temporary boost in individual success, &quot;winning the D&amp;D&quot; in your case.A friend of mine recently mentioned that one advice she would have told to herself from a decade ago is &quot;you're not indebted to anyone for simply being nice to you&quot;. I've been reading this discussion from the start, and it gives me the impression that you feel obliged to somehow settle with the particular player's idea of a game, for whatever reason.^this is from the very first post.You say that they're not bad people, but through the thread you describe time and again that their style of play is barely tolerable to you and other players. You are angry at a (admittedly) flawed system, but you refuse to even call the culprit a bad person. Why? If you feel that &quot;bad guy&quot; is too strong of a moniker, at least admit that they are a dick. Everyone can be a dick, most people can even get better. And it's possible to be a dick in a particular set of activities, I am a sore loser in boardgames, but easily bet with awful cards in preferans and laugh at myself afterwards. If a person, verbally or otherwise, breaks the established covenant of your game (even after voiced concerns) and refuses to update either his habits or your game as a whole (a power gamer at my 4e table improved his public image significantly by politely discussing with other players their builds and team combos in battle) - there's no solution. You're allowed to have fun with this person in other spheres of life, but not in D&amp;D.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="hirou, post: 8224931, member: 6776023"] I'm focusing on a relatively minor point out of context, but I feel this is important enough. In a modern society there is a set of expected norms and behavior patterns, which in theory helps us coexist. Empathy. A bit of modesty. Politeness in speech. The problem is, when someone disregards these paradigms when others comply with them, he can usually achieve a temporary boost in individual success, "winning the D&D" in your case. A friend of mine recently mentioned that one advice she would have told to herself from a decade ago is "you're not indebted to anyone for simply being nice to you". I've been reading this discussion from the start, and it gives me the impression that you feel obliged to somehow settle with the particular player's idea of a game, for whatever reason. ^this is from the very first post. You say that they're not bad people, but through the thread you describe time and again that their style of play is barely tolerable to you and other players. You are angry at a (admittedly) flawed system, but you refuse to even call the culprit a bad person. Why? If you feel that "bad guy" is too strong of a moniker, at least admit that they are a dick. Everyone can be a dick, most people can even get better. And it's possible to be a dick in a particular set of activities, I am a sore loser in boardgames, but easily bet with awful cards in preferans and laugh at myself afterwards. If a person, verbally or otherwise, breaks the established covenant of your game (even after voiced concerns) and refuses to update either his habits or your game as a whole (a power gamer at my 4e table improved his public image significantly by politely discussing with other players their builds and team combos in battle) - there's no solution. You're allowed to have fun with this person in other spheres of life, but not in D&D. [/QUOTE]

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