Designing a game "Ancient World"

[Amanchanamun]

Hello,

I am designing a game. I have made my proposal to one publisher as well. I like to have your comments about what i am designing.

12 abilities not 6

4 physical , 4 social , 4 mental

12 clans not classes or races

Anybody can take his own direction. Like every single character is a multiclass on his own and he can improve him himself as he likes. Clans has only little profit on datas more motivated on role play.

more complex and more real combat system with new dice rules( one type dice )

Everybody not acts in order. Exp. your second attack with left hand can be after an other move of a foe.
I am attacking with my blade is not enough. Question : What type of attack ?

New hp system and combat mechanics which is more real
Yoy can die with 2-3 hits. But hit is less. Important thing is to keep yourself not tired that makes you unable to lift your heavy axe or worser your shield.

Deep and more realistic history, world and story.
I mean there are no magic casting dragons, but there are devils, demons. Magic is very less. There are no thousands of gods. There is one.

Alignment
No unrealistic good, evil , neutral only. More complex system which enables characters to have a realistic personality and religion belief.
Ex. Good manner, suspicious about god, willing to help but not risk himself, align to worshipping Ma-cail.

There are lots of other things as well. But one book for everything about 360 pages totally.

Tell me your ideas and comments.

 

[Yair]

First - have fun, and good luck with having it published.

Most of your changes are not in the direction that I personally like. That's fine - no game is for everyone, and you obviously should make the game you'd like to play. But if you could keep in mind that there are all sorts of players and make some allowances for that in your system, it would be beneficial. In Iron Heroes, for example, there are intentionally some classes that are simpler mechanically than others, for players that don't won't to be burdened with counting tokens and making complex several-turns strategies. In the Murchard's Legacy campaign setting there are backgrounds especially designed for those that don't want to learn the setting, allowing players to pick up in-world reasons why their characters don't know who the Brasylians are, or that the world used to be ruled over by dragons or so on. This kind of flexibility would allow your system to have greater appeal.

Having 12 abilities is a little high, but the question is - why, from a game-design point of view? Take my favorite game, for example, Ars Magica. In this game there are eight abilities, including the pair Presence and Communication. Why separate the two? Because in Ars Magica, skill at writing texts clearly (Communication) is vital, and you want to allow for the archetype of a clear writer that is not at all charismatic (poor Presence). Don't burden the players with mechanics that don't have a game-design reason. Make sure all those 12 abilities are there for a game-related reason.

 

[Mathew_Freeman]

Unfortunately without further detail it's very hard to make any sort of judgement.

I also find your use of English difficult to understand.

I am attacking with my blade is not enough. Question : What type of attack ?

I really don't understand what you're getting at with that statement. I am also concerned that you seem to want to write a system that involves a great number of complicated rules. I would warn you that, for many gamers, the game has to be fun to play first. It can be wonderfully realistic, detailed, full of flavour and ingenious, but if it takes me half-an-hour to work out what number of dice I should be rolling, when, and how to work out the result in a simple combat it's just not going to be the game for me.

If you want criticism and comment on your game, you would probably be best off actually writing it first, then getting people to give you feedback. Right now all I'm seeing is a list of ideas that don't tell me very much about what you're actually planning.

 

[Amanchanamun]

Thank you for the criticism. I will think about it.

Tallarn _ English is not my mother language. Maybe i wrote it wrong.

I tried to mean, a player has to declare what sort of attack move he will make ; like

Fast swing combinations

It will increase number of attacks but will reduce damage for instance and other extra as well. These attacks will be like at will powers in 4th but greater in number. When we play dnd, i find people looking to sheets to find something that they can do something in that situation. I believe so many options can increase their happiness.

Yair thanks for the criticism. I will evaluate. let me tell the abilities.

strength - dexterity - agility - stamina

manipulate - appereance - presence - charisma

wisdom - wit - inteligence - senses

i believe i really need agility. because things like acrobacy can seem cumulative but to run to dodge for me is about mobility not dexterity.

open locks, using bow other hand based activities still base on dexterity.

there has to be something called wit; which means quick in thinking , not inherited but practiced.

Inherited one has to be inteligence.

socially i am working on but again many questions cant find answers for less than 4 abilities.

Intimidate isnt about charisma for me and a good looking man cant intimidate at all. For me...

 

[Yair]

I understand the need for better simulation is driving you. That's fine, but make sure that everything has a game-impact.

In normal D&D, Charisma measures the character's ability to influence people. Charisma allows all sorts of manipulation - intimidation, diplomacy, lying... Your way means you can differentiate between them. But this is only useful if your games involve lots of times where this difference matters. Make sure the differences matter.

The standard way to treat this is to concentrate on the most important aspect for role-playing - the ability to manipulate others, called Charisma in D&D. And to segregate the other aspects to feats. So you could take the Alluring feat to receive, say, a +5 bonus to all attempts at Diplomacy and Guile with sexually-compatible characters, but at a cost of -5 to Intimidate attempts. Have you considered such a model?



Amanchanamun, if you really want to get published you simply have to improve your English to native-speaker level. Or publish at your own language. It's hard, I know (I'm no native-speaker myself!), but imagine reading a book in your language with grammar mistakes and misspellings... It's not professional. Editors can change your wording, but that's a lot of work on their part, so it seriously diminishes your chances of being published.

 

[Amanchanamun]

Publisher that i applied for is in my country, however there are only one or two publisher here working on projects like this and i dont have many chances like american authors have in their country. What i plan is to writein my own language than making it translated or change it by advices

I also write some submissions to wizards and other companies as well. "Hinderence of writing in american english, like a native is a must" is something that discouraging me alot but i have to try. I like to play and i want to be in a project that has my name on it. Moreover i want to play a game that has no deficiencies at all.

Well , lets continue.

Your idea increasing and relatively decreasing some skills with a possible feat or extra background option is not bad. I was adding merit-flaw like system and it can be nice solution. I will look tonight what i have done in documents, and evaluate again.

By this way i can decrease social skills in two. Presence and Charisma ( Because i still think something related to appereance is a must ? What do you think ? )

So we have strength - dexterity- agility(mobility) - stamina - charisma - Appereance(presence) - wisdom - senses - wit and inteligence

on weapon mechanics, i use 2 ability on each weapon.

For dagger ; dexterity + wit/2 for hits and wit for damage is essential for instance.

for long sword ; strength + wit/2 to hit while damage base on strength again.

Meanwhile i use one single die ( d6 ) but three dice rolling at a time.

for everything.

 

[crash_beedo]

Wouldn't you have a better chance of publishing (and certainly better sales) building 'Ancient World' as a campaign setting for an already published game? Either D&D 3.5 under the OGL or non-rules specific 4E?

Or if you need the combat realism, maybe approaching ICE for Rolemaster. New systems always have such a high buy-in.

 

[ExploderWizard]

Wouldn't you have a better chance of publishing (and certainly better sales) building 'Ancient World' as a campaign setting for an already published game? Either D&D 3.5 under the OGL or non-rules specific 4E?

Or if you need the combat realism, maybe approaching ICE for Rolemaster. New systems always have such a high buy-in.

This is solid advice. If you have a well developed world then getting it published as a system free setting would be easier.

For a realistic 3d6 game system, it will be tough to compete with GURPS.

 

[taliesin15]

Over the past 4 decades I've seen a number of alternate Fantasy setting RPGs out there, and this system has features (like 12 abilities instead of 6) that some others out there have had. I'm wondering if you've looked at some of these other ones? IMHO, the best thought out and developed alternate system I've encountered is David Nalle's Ysgarth system (you'll easily find it on the Internet--in fact, there's a good Wikipedia entry on it). If you haven't investigated some of these other systems, you ought to, and then maybe talk with people on the Net who've played some of these other systems.

 

[Amanchanamun]

Yes there are so many systems already and i am aware of people get bored about seing new worlds. Nearly all publishers have several words and even all dms have one in their hand.

Tonight while coming from business, i thought about it. wizards has dnd, white wolf has vampire and mage ascension and there are nice ideas like ravenloft. Each have deficiencies but there are things that making them special.

white wolf has very clean dice system which helps games roleplay based deep story telling. But in any way rules are sometimes not enough and have deficiencies.

dnd is a nice taste of medieval sorcery line with lots of fantasy ( maybe too much ? ) with very nice pictures and strong rules but lacks deep story telling.

i want these two tobe together by covering each others deficiencies actually.

I play both of them and enjoy alot. But can be more..

well about my system and the world.

i believe that my world is nice and unique. It has a good dice system that i like. but... its my opinion. This is the problem. Because this is my idea. so it can be different in other people's opinions.

i think best will be to completing the details for the world instead of writing new rules. I will see what can i do then.

ofcourse if i get a positive reply meanwhile from the publisher, it will make a change on my opinions.