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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Nonlethal Force" data-source="post: 3212498" data-attributes="member: 35788">Yeah I know.  There are people of all kinds at every table.  Trust me, I'm one of them.  And it isn't cause I'm bored.  I bounce my legs 95% of the time that I'm sitting down.  I chew on pen tops.  I roll dice (although I don't spin them).  I click pen tops.  I fidget with anything one the table that will make a noise (even fingernale clippers!).  The thing is, I often don't realize I'm doing anything until my wife starts laughing at me.  Then I figure it out.She used to get really mad.  She got mad because she thought I was bored and she thought I wasn't paying attention.  Then she learned something about me:  if you want me to pay attention, make sure my hands have something to do.  If I am clicking a pen top, you can bet your bottom dollar that I am focusing on what you are saying much more than if they are folded nice and neatly on my lap.  Once she learned that, she began to understand me.It wasn't about making me conform to her standard of "acceptable behavior."  It was about her getting over her issue with my need for motion.  So, she decided one day to learn to appreciate the fact that I give her physical evidence that I'm really into what she's saying.  Most of them don't bother her.  The few that do she laughs at.Then, I used to get mad at her laughing at me.  It made me really self-conscious.  So I would quite was I was doing and sulk because I was embarassed.  But then I had to learn something:  I had to learn that just as she got used to my fidgeting - I had to get used to her laughing.  Her laughing was not meant to humiliate me, it was her way of saying that she found my need to fidget amuzing and the reason she noticed it was because the particular thing I was doing annoyed the crap out of her!  [Flipping open and closing the fingernale clippers is a sure one at that.  I do it because of the click.  She hates the click!]  So, I had to learn that her laugh was telling me that I was more than welcme to fidget, but she'd prefer I picked something else.Long story: there are people who fidget.  There are people who bounce their legs.  If he's rolling dice because he's bored, that's one thing.  If he's like me - he may be rolling dice because he's really into it and it helps him focus.  If it keeps you from focusing, then perhaps he simply needs to find a new fidget.  Buy him a worry stone.  Buy him one of those squishy balls that have the gel inside.  By him something he can do with his hands that doesn't make much noise and won't annoy the crap out of you.  Chances are if he's a fidgeter and you force him to lose the fidget you'll be ruining his game completely.  It shouldn't be about ruining a game.  It should be about compromise - find a fidget that works.  Personally, I find dice spinning annoying when done around other people who aren't dice spinning.  But as I said above - I've come to learn that it does not mean they're bored always.If they are doing it because they are bored, that's one thing.  If they are doing it because they are a fidgeter, then you all need to accept their need to fidget and find something they can do that isn't annoying.  Worry stones are great for this!EDIT:I find it unfortunate that so many people automatically jump to "penalties."  "Do it my way or there will be consequences!"  That's so unimaginative and honestly cold-hearted.If they're bored and it's your table, then likely you're the DM.  Improve the story next time.If they're fidgeters, then your penalties just ruin the game totally.  Trust me, I know what it is like to need to have something in my hands to truly concentrate.  I can sit still for hours if you give me a pen top ot chew on or a worry stone.  Take those away from me and I will lose interest in 2 minutes or less.Don't penalize peolpe.  Make your environment more gamer friendly.  It is okay to say that dice rolling is annoying.  But rather than punish, be proactive in finding a compromise that works for all people!</blockquote>

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