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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Torm" data-source="post: 2184998" data-attributes="member: 12706">If you are angry with a man, try walking a mile in his shoes. Then, you're a mile away, and you have his shoes. <img src="http://www.enworld.org/forum/images/smilies/devious.png"  class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":]" title="Devious    :]" data-shortname=":]" />Petty and small is having so little respect for your fellows on ENWorld as to spout the hatefulness that you've posted in these last two posts. It is also asking other people's opinions on your actions - which says that you KNOW there might be something wrong with them - and then getting angry when they don't back your actions. It is ALSO leaving her and calling the authorities for the reasons you have now stated. Before I was giving you the benefit of the doubt and assuming that you had left her because you couldn't take on responsibility for her with other responsibilities you have that it would interfere with - an unfortunate, but understandable reason. And I assumed you called the police out of legitimate concern for her and people she might endanger. But it turns out that instead of honorable reasons, you did these things out of a desire to push yourself back up from feeling rejected in favor of the drugs (which, apparently, you don't understand the meaning of ADDICTION - it isn't about you at all) by pushing her down. Equal and opposite reaction may work in physics, but can you honestly tell me you feel better? I doubt it.Addiction: She can't quit, not for long, on her own. She thinks she NEEDS the drugs - either because there are things in her life around her she can't face, or she doesn't like herself but can hide that in the drug's effects. People in this situation need someone to stand with them - to tell them that they will help them overcome those things around them, or to build them up until they believe they have worth again without the drugs. And I'm not about to pretend that there aren't people so broken as to be beyond redemption even for the most heroic efforts - but that isn't even close to what I'm hearing from you.Believe it or not (probably not, since people tend to take truth they don't want as an attack), I still wish you well in your future relationships. But I want you to realize that as long as your relationships are, for you, about YOU and not about her, they will either fail or be bad for whomever she is. Is that what you want?You should call her, Ken - fix this. Did you even tell her that it HURT you for her to choose the drugs over you? Did you tell her that you loved her without the drugs? Or did you tear her down for doing them, instead?I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the MatterBecause the flesh will get weakAnd the ashes will scatterSo I'm thinkin' about forgivenessForgivenessEven if, even if you don't love me anymore - Don HenleyThe burden of truth looks SO much heavier, but is really much lighter than the burden of guilt.I know you're probably instinctively wanting to lash back out at me for saying all this: I want you to fight that, for just a moment, and consider that for the first part of this thread I was firmly on you side. Now realize - I still am. So why am I saying these things? Think about it.One last thing - don't ask people whether you did right or not, and then say, "don't judge me." What did you ASK for, if not judgment?</blockquote>

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