Menu
News
All News
Dungeons & Dragons
Level Up: Advanced 5th Edition
Pathfinder
Starfinder
Warhammer
2d20 System
Year Zero Engine
Industry News
Reviews
Dragon Reflections
White Dwarf Reflections
Columns
Weekly Digests
Weekly News Digest
Freebies, Sales & Bundles
RPG Print News
RPG Crowdfunding News
Game Content
ENterplanetary DimENsions
Mythological Figures
Opinion
Worlds of Design
Peregrine's Nest
RPG Evolution
Other Columns
From the Freelancing Frontline
Monster ENcyclopedia
WotC/TSR Alumni Look Back
4 Hours w/RSD (Ryan Dancey)
The Road to 3E (Jonathan Tweet)
Greenwood's Realms (Ed Greenwood)
Drawmij's TSR (Jim Ward)
Community
Forums & Topics
Forum List
Latest Posts
Forum list
*Dungeons & Dragons
Level Up: Advanced 5th Edition
D&D Older Editions, OSR, & D&D Variants
*TTRPGs General
*Pathfinder & Starfinder
EN Publishing
*Geek Talk & Media
Search forums
Chat/Discord
Resources
Wiki
Pages
Latest activity
Media
New media
New comments
Search media
Downloads
Latest reviews
Search resources
EN Publishing
Store
EN5ider
Adventures in ZEITGEIST
Awfully Cheerful Engine
What's OLD is NEW
Judge Dredd & The Worlds Of 2000AD
War of the Burning Sky
Level Up: Advanced 5E
Events & Releases
Upcoming Events
Private Events
Featured Events
Socials!
EN Publishing
Twitter
BlueSky
Facebook
Instagram
EN World
BlueSky
YouTube
Facebook
Twitter
Twitch
Podcast
Features
Top 5 RPGs Compiled Charts 2004-Present
Adventure Game Industry Market Research Summary (RPGs) V1.0
Ryan Dancey: Acquiring TSR
Q&A With Gary Gygax
D&D Rules FAQs
TSR, WotC, & Paizo: A Comparative History
D&D Pronunciation Guide
Million Dollar TTRPG Kickstarters
Tabletop RPG Podcast Hall of Fame
Eric Noah's Unofficial D&D 3rd Edition News
D&D in the Mainstream
D&D & RPG History
About Morrus
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
Forums & Topics
Forum List
Latest Posts
Forum list
*Dungeons & Dragons
Level Up: Advanced 5th Edition
D&D Older Editions, OSR, & D&D Variants
*TTRPGs General
*Pathfinder & Starfinder
EN Publishing
*Geek Talk & Media
Search forums
Chat/Discord
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Upgrade your account to a Community Supporter account and remove most of the site ads.
Community
General Tabletop Discussion
*Pathfinder & Starfinder
DM Advice For Difficult Players?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Oryan77" data-source="post: 4822421" data-attributes="member: 18701"><p>You already have it better than a lot of groups with problem players. You have a social life with him outside of the game, so that's a good start. Talking about the game over some beers is a great way to break the ice & discuss issues. I would wait and talk to the problem player the next time you guys are hanging out at the bar. That way it'll feel less like you are "confronting" him, and you guys will have a few drinks in you and be loosened up <img src="http://www.enworld.org/forum/images/smilies/laugh.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /></p><p></p><p>But I would definitely say something to him. Yer going to have to just be up front, no beating around the bush. Just tell him that you are trying to learn how to be a good DM and his constant arguing is not helping. Instead, he should wait until after the game to "teach" you what rules you are using wrong. Make him feel like he will be helping you out by doing this. Hopefully things will work out.</p><p></p><p>But, I will speak from my own experience now...</p><p></p><p><strong>Do not hesitate to kick someone out of the group.</strong> <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f641.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" data-smilie="3"data-shortname=":(" /></p><p></p><p>In the last 10 years I have DMed, I have DMed around 20 or more different people. About 8 of them left the game over gaming style conflicts (they didn't like how I DMed, or I didn't like them as a player and asked them to leave). </p><p></p><p>The one thing I want to say is, do not let someone ruin your fun & cause you to stop DMing. Kick his butt out of the group if he cannot change his bad habits. Early on, when I was trying to become a good DM, I had people frustrate me so bad that I would consider giving up the DM role. But I had so much fun DMing during the good parts, that I wished so much that I had that "perfect" group so I could keep DMing. I tried everything I could to make it better, even posted here on Enworld many times to ask advice about problem players.</p><p></p><p>In the end, after dealing with so many of these people, I learned that people just aren't going to change. Even when I talked to them about it, they'd be better for 1 or 2 sessions and then we'd be right back where we were. I have never heard of a group that was able to turn a problem player into a good player. If so, nobody has ever mentioned it <img src="http://www.enworld.org/forum/images/smilies/devious.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":]" title="Devious :]" data-shortname=":]" /></p><p></p><p>I told myself that I won't deal with any more BS. So I started looking for new players when they'd cause problems, and I would just stop inviting them to game. I also became very strict when meeting potential new players (posting ads online & meeting them at Starbucks). If any red flags went up during the meeting, I would tell them later that I don't think they'll work out. It was very hard to do at first because I feel bad telling them that, but I got used to it (every time I'd give them a chance anyway, they'd turn out to still be problem players).</p><p></p><p>I now have a great group of friends to game with. We all get along and I have <strong>never</strong> had any of them argue during the game. None of them make me feel like a bad DM and they are just there to have a good time. It's great.</p><p></p><p>I had to deal with a lot of crap to get to this point, but I can honestly say that I have no big problems with any of the players. I even got 2 new people in the game <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f600.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":D" title="Big grin :D" data-smilie="8"data-shortname=":D" /></p><p></p><p>I wish I could say that talking to problem players is the best advice, but I honestly don't think it is. Kicking these people out of the group and replacing them with <strong>great</strong> players is the best advice I think a person could give. That's just the way it is I guess (at least for me) <img src="http://www.enworld.org/forum/images/smilies/erm.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":erm:" title="Erm :erm:" data-shortname=":erm:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Oryan77, post: 4822421, member: 18701"] You already have it better than a lot of groups with problem players. You have a social life with him outside of the game, so that's a good start. Talking about the game over some beers is a great way to break the ice & discuss issues. I would wait and talk to the problem player the next time you guys are hanging out at the bar. That way it'll feel less like you are "confronting" him, and you guys will have a few drinks in you and be loosened up :lol: But I would definitely say something to him. Yer going to have to just be up front, no beating around the bush. Just tell him that you are trying to learn how to be a good DM and his constant arguing is not helping. Instead, he should wait until after the game to "teach" you what rules you are using wrong. Make him feel like he will be helping you out by doing this. Hopefully things will work out. But, I will speak from my own experience now... [b]Do not hesitate to kick someone out of the group.[/b] :( In the last 10 years I have DMed, I have DMed around 20 or more different people. About 8 of them left the game over gaming style conflicts (they didn't like how I DMed, or I didn't like them as a player and asked them to leave). The one thing I want to say is, do not let someone ruin your fun & cause you to stop DMing. Kick his butt out of the group if he cannot change his bad habits. Early on, when I was trying to become a good DM, I had people frustrate me so bad that I would consider giving up the DM role. But I had so much fun DMing during the good parts, that I wished so much that I had that "perfect" group so I could keep DMing. I tried everything I could to make it better, even posted here on Enworld many times to ask advice about problem players. In the end, after dealing with so many of these people, I learned that people just aren't going to change. Even when I talked to them about it, they'd be better for 1 or 2 sessions and then we'd be right back where we were. I have never heard of a group that was able to turn a problem player into a good player. If so, nobody has ever mentioned it :] I told myself that I won't deal with any more BS. So I started looking for new players when they'd cause problems, and I would just stop inviting them to game. I also became very strict when meeting potential new players (posting ads online & meeting them at Starbucks). If any red flags went up during the meeting, I would tell them later that I don't think they'll work out. It was very hard to do at first because I feel bad telling them that, but I got used to it (every time I'd give them a chance anyway, they'd turn out to still be problem players). I now have a great group of friends to game with. We all get along and I have [b]never[/b] had any of them argue during the game. None of them make me feel like a bad DM and they are just there to have a good time. It's great. I had to deal with a lot of crap to get to this point, but I can honestly say that I have no big problems with any of the players. I even got 2 new people in the game :D I wish I could say that talking to problem players is the best advice, but I honestly don't think it is. Kicking these people out of the group and replacing them with [b]great[/b] players is the best advice I think a person could give. That's just the way it is I guess (at least for me) :erm: [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Community
General Tabletop Discussion
*Pathfinder & Starfinder
DM Advice For Difficult Players?
Top