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Message: <blockquote data-quote="fireinthedust" data-source="post: 5000926" data-attributes="member: 51930">I'm going to recommend some different options than you're hearing here.Why are you DMing?   It sounds to me like you have a different style of RP from your friends, am I right?  Not that you aren't a great DM, but it sounds like your expectations and rewards don't line up with theirs.You:  emmersive.  I'm guessing you want to be somewhere else when you play.  You get a lot out of stories about characters who aren't the best in the world.  In fact, you'd like Elaine Cunningham's book City of Splendors; or Guy Gavriel Kay's Tigana.  You read settings books like the 3e FRCS, and go "I wonder what it'd be like to meet Hallister Blackcloak; I wonder what makes him tick.  If he had a book, I bet he'd stop being a bad guy and start being nice".  You have names for all your magic items, and remember fondly how you got them.  You buy your PC food, his favourite meal, and the type of Eladrin herbal tea his mother drank before she was betrayed by your mad uncle.Them:  Chess.  They read player's options books and think "I bet I could really hit an orc with this... but I could hit more of them with *that*!"    If there was a dragon guarding the gates to a dwarven vault, they'd buy shovels and dig around it to get inside, equip themselves, and then backstab the dragon for xp.  They buy their items and, if an item loses a percentage of its optimization, they *sell* it, then use the gold to buy more items!  They buy their PCs rations, possibly made of cardboard.Me:  I like both styles.  Before I DM a game, I try to understand what I want to accomplish for my players.  I like making puzzles, and I like making NPCs.   ...I also live in Toronto and run a 4e game; it is more useful for RP than 3.x, as 3.x is a simulationist game (die-rolls for social skills, more complex than 4e's).Basically, you have a good set of gamers.  They show up every game, and if you keep them sober they can get through it; good call, I ban drugs at my games (after a bad experience years back), and keep drinking down (and food up).You like them as people.  Maybe you're looking for something in your RPG playing that you could more easily find someplace else.  That's what got me writing, that's what got me drawing.  I game because I like the whole thing, not just one aspect.  Shyness: maybe they're not into RPing the way you want the to.  I don't like "performing" for others.  I'm not a monkey on a string.  I have actor and musician friends, and I like music and acting, but I don't sing just because someone goes "hey, you're a singer".       I have a mix of players who RP and others who don't.  One specifically who just. doesn't. rp.   Others do nothing but.Maybe you need more players to add to the group.  Maybe you need a different DM for them, and different players for you.I don't think it's fair of you to expect other people to change who they are just because you want something.  You agreed to run a game for them, not for other people.  DMing is very much about facilitating the game for your players, as well as them stepping up to play with you.  If you try to shove RP down their throats, they'll hate it and resent you for it.</blockquote>

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