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Message: <blockquote data-quote="fusangite" data-source="post: 2410953" data-attributes="member: 7240">OKay, let's begin by looking at how people in the game view and treat Bob:What we can see here is a group of otherwise civilized people all venting to eachother in private about what a jerk this guy is. Does this sound like the behaviour of people who are in stable friendships with this fellow? So I have to begin questioning what kind of "friendship" exists between Bob and the other members of the group. Now let's look at how Bob treats people in the game:So, Bob can't distinguish between things that hurt or imperil his character and things that hurt or imperil him. But...It's pretty clear that Bob doesn't care if his conduct hurts or imperils other people's characters. Bob appears to be uninterested in treating people by the same standards by which they treat him. He seems unable to grasp the Golden Rule. Furthermore,Again, it appears that it does not matter to Bob whether other people have fun in the game. And then there is the question of how he gets his way: Bob gets his way through intimidation and extortion. People fear these rages and he knows it. So he can control people around him. Failing that, he will act in an explicitly extortionate way, threatening to quit if he can't have exactly what he wants. Furthermore, people seem pretty sure that if ForceUser kicks Bob out of the game, Bob won't just punish him; he will punish ForeceUser's friends. What kind of person maintains relationships by implicitly threatening to hurt you and, if that doesn't work, hurt your friends?I haven't been able to find it in the SRD but I'm pretty sure that one cannot unilaterally choose one's class without DM permission (I, for instance, would go nuts if my players felt they could impose the Monk class on me). But let's suppose this is a House Rule; the group has the right to maintain a set of house rules in any game, from D&D to Monopoly. It is not merely that this guy wants to play under the rules with a different style; he wants a special set of rules that only apply to him.Now, those of you who label Bob as a beer 'n pretzels gamer, power gamer, munchkin or the like need to take a good look at this quote. The SRD contains the requirement for a Paladin code; Bob decided that if he yelled loudly enough, this part of the SRD wouldn't apply to him. And he was right. Bob is not about playing by the rules; Bob is about absolute control. He has no attachment to the rules. He has an attachment to getting his way. If the rules don't let him do that, shouting, threats and ruining everyone else's evening will.Furthermore, just as the other players, do about Bob, Bob complains about ForceUser behind his back.And as a result, ForceUser isn't having a good time anymore. Now, various of you seem to feel that Bob having a good time is more important than ForceUser having a good time. I think this is utter crap. If you're in a game where you have to choose between one person having fun and another person having fun, it's time to end the game. As you can see Bob's usual mode of working is proceeding right on track. He has now so inconvenienced his "friend" that Hjorimir is encouraging ForceUser to once again subordinate his own enjoyment of the game to Bob's because until he does, Bob will continue sucking up his time and energy on this conflict. Sorry but I beg to differ. Sure, this guy does favours for people like giving them rides but this, alone does not make someone a friend. It is very clear that Bob believes it is okay to hurt and punish his friends in order to get his way over, frankly, minor picayune things. Does this sound like a friend? For instance, when Bob's friends get together for a nice evening of a shared activity, Bob has no problem having a tantrum and ruining their night the moment his needs come into conflict with theirs. Does this sound like a friend? Bob seeks to control people who are not his friends, like ForceUser, how? By holding over him the implicit threat that he will hurt their mutual friends and possibly damage them professionally. Does this sound like a friend?Finally,He's not even doing this because he wants to play a cleric. He's doing this because he cannot accept not being able to control ForceUser. This isn't even about Bob's enjoyment being more important than other people's; it's just about punishing people who won't cave in to his bullying.Bob is a bully who will accept nothing less than complete control over the people around him. When dealing with bullies, it's the same as when you were six. You can cave or you can stand up to them. It's not pretty but that's how it is.</blockquote>

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