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Message: <blockquote data-quote="takyris" data-source="post: 1433862" data-attributes="member: 5171">I am SO putting a magical Wal-Mart in my next game... <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" />Actually, check that.  I'm putting a semi-sleazy retailer in there.- - - - - Hey, you intristed in cold?  I got this Scythe of Frost, 'ere, that'll fix you up reeeeal good.  You'll be connectin' with the baddies about 15% more often, and you'll be freezin' the lil' nippers when you do.No?  Maybe sumpin' in bludgeoning?  I got a hammer that kills any vampire it hits.  Guaranteed.  You get a good hit on a vamp and he don't crumble to dust, you just bring it back to me and...You talked to who?  Well, yeah, he did try it out, and he did decide to return it, but did you see that guy?  Those puny lil' arms of his?  I figure this hammer was probably a bit too much for him.  Probably my mistake to sell it to somebody who wasn't man enough to use it, which is why I'm bein' real discriminatin' 'bout who I sell it to this time.  And anyway, he was talkin' 'bout the things he fought having these long-ol' paralyzin' tongues, and that don't sound like no vampire to me.  I was pretty specific, if you recall.Back to the scythe, then?  Oh yeah, it's a good'un.  Sure, it does a ton of damage if you get a real sweet hit.  More cold?  Uh, yeah, yeah, there's definitely more cold when you get a sweet hit.  Yeah, definitely.  So, you want me to box that one up for you?Good, good.  Now, that's gonna be 32,000.  Would you be more interested in leasing it?  Use it for a few months, then bring it back, for just 1000 a month?  No?  A buyin' man.  I'd probably go that way myself.  Hey, you want I should ring you up for our comprehensive warranty as well?  Five years, anything happens to that baby, you just bring it on back and we'll...Well, it's 2,000 a month.  Sure, that sounds like a lot, but look at how much you're putting out right already.  Another 24,000 per year is just a drop in the bucket.  How much did you pay for your horse?  Now, how much do you spend feedin' the horse, cleanin' the horse, curin' the horse when it gets whacked, and stablin' it every night?  Huh?  I mean, it's your game, pal, but the hot new ticket out there these days is admantine greatswords.  Your baby gets hit by one of those, you're not using a Scythe of Frost anymore.  You've got an Ogre-sized Sickle, and you're out 32,000.  I'm just sayin'.Payin' in exchange, are ya?  Hey, that's great.  Now, what have you got there?  A flaming sword that's made to destroy demons?  Really?  Well, you're gonna have to pardon my skepticism, 'cause it's just that, well, it ain't flamin' right now, and that's a pretty... Oh, yeah, there it goes.  You sure that ain't just a glamour?  It doesn't look... well, it's a little hot, but I don't know, if I tried to sell that as "flaming", I'd have people all over me telling me that I was exaggerating.  I might have to sell it as "hot" or "somewhat heated".  As for that bit about demons, I'm gonna have to get back to you on that, 'cause, well, there ain't no demons here, and really, demons don't mind flame that much, so why would anybody put a big flaming special on a sword built to slay demons?  I might have to have one of my boys look under the hilt there, verify all this.  And you've got a title for this, right?  I'm not gonna have some dark-armored guy clanking in here and declaring that you killed him and took his stuff and then he got raised and wants it back from me, right?  If you don't have a certificate of ownership, I'm 'a hafta knock the trade-in price down a bit for insurance reasons.Yeah, that lease is lookin' better now, huh?  How about we get those papers signed right now?  You're agreeing to pay a certain amount per month for use of the sword, without fail?  That's just a common-sense kind of... you are?  Great.  Hey, that's wonderful.  That odd headachy feeling?  That was just a geas -- since you agreed to the deal, we just put that on there.  I'm sure it won't come up for you.  Probably don't even have to worry about it in your case, since you're a stand-up guy, but you know, policy.Anyway, best of luck with that Scythe.  You need anything else, you come on back now, ya hear?</blockquote>

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