Menu
News
All News
Dungeons & Dragons
Level Up: Advanced 5th Edition
Pathfinder
Starfinder
Warhammer
2d20 System
Year Zero Engine
Industry News
Reviews
Dragon Reflections
White Dwarf Reflections
Columns
Weekly Digests
Weekly News Digest
Freebies, Sales & Bundles
RPG Print News
RPG Crowdfunding News
Game Content
ENterplanetary DimENsions
Mythological Figures
Opinion
Worlds of Design
Peregrine's Nest
RPG Evolution
Other Columns
From the Freelancing Frontline
Monster ENcyclopedia
WotC/TSR Alumni Look Back
4 Hours w/RSD (Ryan Dancey)
The Road to 3E (Jonathan Tweet)
Greenwood's Realms (Ed Greenwood)
Drawmij's TSR (Jim Ward)
Community
Forums & Topics
Forum List
Latest Posts
Forum list
*Dungeons & Dragons
Level Up: Advanced 5th Edition
D&D Older Editions
*TTRPGs General
*Pathfinder & Starfinder
EN Publishing
*Geek Talk & Media
Search forums
Chat/Discord
Resources
Wiki
Pages
Latest activity
Media
New media
New comments
Search media
Downloads
Latest reviews
Search resources
EN Publishing
Store
EN5ider
Adventures in ZEITGEIST
Awfully Cheerful Engine
What's OLD is NEW
Judge Dredd & The Worlds Of 2000AD
War of the Burning Sky
Level Up: Advanced 5E
Events & Releases
Upcoming Events
Private Events
Featured Events
Socials!
EN Publishing
Twitter
BlueSky
Facebook
Instagram
EN World
BlueSky
YouTube
Facebook
Twitter
Twitch
Podcast
Features
Top 5 RPGs Compiled Charts 2004-Present
Adventure Game Industry Market Research Summary (RPGs) V1.0
Ryan Dancey: Acquiring TSR
Q&A With Gary Gygax
D&D Rules FAQs
TSR, WotC, & Paizo: A Comparative History
D&D Pronunciation Guide
Million Dollar TTRPG Kickstarters
Tabletop RPG Podcast Hall of Fame
Eric Noah's Unofficial D&D 3rd Edition News
D&D in the Mainstream
D&D & RPG History
About Morrus
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
Forums & Topics
Forum List
Latest Posts
Forum list
*Dungeons & Dragons
Level Up: Advanced 5th Edition
D&D Older Editions
*TTRPGs General
*Pathfinder & Starfinder
EN Publishing
*Geek Talk & Media
Search forums
Chat/Discord
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Community
General Tabletop Discussion
*TTRPGs General
DnD (in-game) Jokes -- Bring em on.
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Thimble the Squit" data-source="post: 1482902" data-attributes="member: 6756"><p>Q. What does a Sembian say when you blow in his ear? </p><p>A. "Thanks for the refill"</p><p></p><p>An elf and a troll walk into a restaurant. When the waiter came over, the elf said "I'd like a salad and a side order of radishes, please." </p><p>"What will the troll have?" </p><p>"Nothing for him." </p><p>"Isn't he hungry?" </p><p>"Idiot!" the elf exclaimed in disbelief. "If he were hungry, would I be sitting here?" </p><p></p><p>An adventurer walks into a bar in Pavis. Just as he's about to down a mug, someone runs in and screams "Run, run! Big Torg's in town! Run for your lives!" </p><p>Just as the adventurer's about to leave a huge troll, standing seven feet tall and weighing 300 pounds, kicks in the door and stomps on in. Grabbing the adventurer by the arm and tossing him over the bar, the troll grumbles "Gimme a drink!" </p><p>The adventurer hands over a bottle of booze, which the troll pops in its mouth. Crunching broken glass, it smacked its lips with relish. </p><p>"Can I get you another?" the adventurer stammered. </p><p>"No, I gots to go" the troll grunted. "Big Torg's a-comin." </p><p></p><p>A Sembian merchant was counting his money late at night when Cyric the Prince of Lies appeared and offered him a deal. As of that moment, he offered, the merchant would sell twice as much volume, make twice as much money, work half the hours and be assured of a lifetime twice as long. </p><p>"All I want in exchange," Cyric said, "is your soul and the souls of your wife, children, friends, ancestors and descendants." </p><p>The Sembian looked at Cyric suspiciously. "So, what's the catch?" </p><p></p><p>And I'm afraid this last set is a bit <u>RuneQuest Glorantha</u> specific:</p><p></p><p>Top 10 reasons why Trolls are better than Ducks </p><p>• Ducks drink swamp-herb tea. Trolls drink Powzie! </p><p>• Ducks: Frenzied attempts to bite your kneecaps off. Trolls: Crush 4, Bludgeon 4 on a maul, to your head. </p><p>• Duck holidays are typically dour contemplation at the Humakt temple. Troll holidays are typically getting drunk and slamdancing at the Zorak Zoran temple until you chunder. </p><p>• Ducks can't make the minimum height requirements for all the cool rides in the God Forgot amusement parks. </p><p>• Trolls don't need to outrun the lion; they just outrun the duck next to them. </p><p>• Troll heroes: heavy hitters like Cragspider, Arkat, Gerak Kag. Duck heroes: Donald, Daffy and Toilet. </p><p>• Trollish fears are of terrors and secrets beyond mankind's comprehension, ancient feuds with powerful races, and horrors that would snap lesser minds. A duck's biggest fear is feather molt. </p><p>• Ducks ride fat, short, cute, gentle little ponies. Trolls ride giant tarantulas which can rip a rhino in half. </p><p>• Lunar provincial militia suffice to commit genocide against ducks; it took Gbaji to take on the trolls. </p><p>• It's never "Troll season."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Thimble the Squit, post: 1482902, member: 6756"] Q. What does a Sembian say when you blow in his ear? A. "Thanks for the refill" An elf and a troll walk into a restaurant. When the waiter came over, the elf said "I'd like a salad and a side order of radishes, please." "What will the troll have?" "Nothing for him." "Isn't he hungry?" "Idiot!" the elf exclaimed in disbelief. "If he were hungry, would I be sitting here?" An adventurer walks into a bar in Pavis. Just as he's about to down a mug, someone runs in and screams "Run, run! Big Torg's in town! Run for your lives!" Just as the adventurer's about to leave a huge troll, standing seven feet tall and weighing 300 pounds, kicks in the door and stomps on in. Grabbing the adventurer by the arm and tossing him over the bar, the troll grumbles "Gimme a drink!" The adventurer hands over a bottle of booze, which the troll pops in its mouth. Crunching broken glass, it smacked its lips with relish. "Can I get you another?" the adventurer stammered. "No, I gots to go" the troll grunted. "Big Torg's a-comin." A Sembian merchant was counting his money late at night when Cyric the Prince of Lies appeared and offered him a deal. As of that moment, he offered, the merchant would sell twice as much volume, make twice as much money, work half the hours and be assured of a lifetime twice as long. "All I want in exchange," Cyric said, "is your soul and the souls of your wife, children, friends, ancestors and descendants." The Sembian looked at Cyric suspiciously. "So, what's the catch?" And I'm afraid this last set is a bit [u]RuneQuest Glorantha[/u] specific: Top 10 reasons why Trolls are better than Ducks • Ducks drink swamp-herb tea. Trolls drink Powzie! • Ducks: Frenzied attempts to bite your kneecaps off. Trolls: Crush 4, Bludgeon 4 on a maul, to your head. • Duck holidays are typically dour contemplation at the Humakt temple. Troll holidays are typically getting drunk and slamdancing at the Zorak Zoran temple until you chunder. • Ducks can't make the minimum height requirements for all the cool rides in the God Forgot amusement parks. • Trolls don't need to outrun the lion; they just outrun the duck next to them. • Troll heroes: heavy hitters like Cragspider, Arkat, Gerak Kag. Duck heroes: Donald, Daffy and Toilet. • Trollish fears are of terrors and secrets beyond mankind's comprehension, ancient feuds with powerful races, and horrors that would snap lesser minds. A duck's biggest fear is feather molt. • Ducks ride fat, short, cute, gentle little ponies. Trolls ride giant tarantulas which can rip a rhino in half. • Lunar provincial militia suffice to commit genocide against ducks; it took Gbaji to take on the trolls. • It's never "Troll season." [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Community
General Tabletop Discussion
*TTRPGs General
DnD (in-game) Jokes -- Bring em on.
Top