Menu
News
All News
Dungeons & Dragons
Level Up: Advanced 5th Edition
Pathfinder
Starfinder
Warhammer
2d20 System
Year Zero Engine
Industry News
Reviews
Dragon Reflections
Columns
Weekly Digests
Weekly News Digest
Freebies, Sales & Bundles
RPG Print News
RPG Crowdfunding News
Game Content
ENterplanetary DimENsions
Mythological Figures
Opinion
Worlds of Design
Peregrine's Next
RPG Evolution
Other Columns
From the Freelancing Frontline
Monster ENcyclopedia
WotC/TSR Alumni Look Back
4 Hours w/RSD (Ryan Dancey)
The Road to 3E (Jonathan Tweet)
Greenwood's Realms (Ed Greenwood)
Drawmij's TSR (Jim Ward)
Community
Forums & Topics
Forum List
Latest Posts
Forum list
*Dungeons & Dragons
Level Up: Advanced 5th Edition
D&D Older Editions
*TTRPGs General
*Pathfinder & Starfinder
EN Publishing
*Geek Talk & Media
Search forums
Chat/Discord
Resources
Wiki
Pages
Latest activity
Media
New media
New comments
Search media
Downloads
Latest reviews
Search resources
EN Publishing
Store
EN5ider
Adventures in ZEITGEIST
Awfully Cheerful Engine
What's OLD is NEW
Judge Dredd & The Worlds Of 2000AD
War of the Burning Sky
Level Up: Advanced 5E
Events & Releases
Upcoming Events
Private Events
Featured Events
Socials!
Twitch
YouTube
Facebook (EN Publishing)
Facebook (EN World)
Twitter
Instagram
TikTok
Podcast
Features
Top 5 RPGs Compiled Charts 2004-Present
Adventure Game Industry Market Research Summary (RPGs) V1.0
Ryan Dancey: Acquiring TSR
Q&A With Gary Gygax
D&D Rules FAQs
TSR, WotC, & Paizo: A Comparative History
D&D Pronunciation Guide
Million Dollar TTRPG Kickstarters
Tabletop RPG Podcast Hall of Fame
Eric Noah's Unofficial D&D 3rd Edition News
D&D in the Mainstream
D&D & RPG History
About Morrus
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
Forums & Topics
Forum List
Latest Posts
Forum list
*Dungeons & Dragons
Level Up: Advanced 5th Edition
D&D Older Editions
*TTRPGs General
*Pathfinder & Starfinder
EN Publishing
*Geek Talk & Media
Search forums
Chat/Discord
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
The
VOIDRUNNER'S CODEX
is coming! Explore new worlds, fight oppressive empires, fend off fearsome aliens, and wield deadly psionics with this comprehensive boxed set expansion for 5E and A5E!
Community
General Tabletop Discussion
*TTRPGs General
DnD while married/relationship - any advice
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Willie the Duck" data-source="post: 9240743" data-attributes="member: 6799660"><p><strong><em>tl/dr:</em></strong><em> marriage and/or kids are just like all the other commitments that tend to accumulate as you get older; and the primary way to keep gaming going with competing commitments is to communicate, coordinate, and advocate for your preferences.</em></p><p></p><p>I am married. We do not have kids. My wife is not a gamer. She has her own hobbies (and we have shared hobbies as well). I've made clear that gaming is important to my mental health and happiness, and my wife respects that. It takes priority for me, so much as leisure activities do. I make sure I can game by making sure my commitments do not come due during the scheduled game time. This requires me to be very organized, to be very good at coordinating with my wife, and to have a 'do your chores first' mentality, so that come game time, I already have all the things that might come up done. </p><p></p><p>Honestly speaking (and for myself), I don't feel that the married-ness contributes to the challenges of gaming moreso than simply being more of an adult with adult responsibilities and commitments than I was at the age when I was single. I have a house, a car, retirement accounts, a job (that I certainly don't leave behind when I log off for the day), a TBI, compared to my 20s I have to work-out and cook real meals to stay healthy, and my parents are getting older and need my help. That's what tends to conflict with gaming. Sure, some weekends it is my wife's parents who need help, or the interfering activity is orchestra tickets we have together, but more often then not, no. If I miss gaming, it is because of stuff I would be doing as a middle aged single person as well. </p><p></p><p>The folks with kids... yeah, you do have to spend a lot of time taking care of their needs, and there's going to be a lot less 'fairness' arguments you can make about it. That's part of the commitment. It's not cut and dried though, and you can say that you need X things that are for you and if gaming is a high enough priority, well then it must take precedence 9 times out of 10. To do that, you need to set expectations, and negotiate for what you want, and you and your spouse need to be willing and able to coordinate and plan ahead. And you may need to agree that if they are responsible for minivan duties on Saturday afternoon, then maybe the Sunday morning that in your 20s you could have slept in with a hangover you are instead up making pancakes and making sure the short people of the house make it to their playdates.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Willie the Duck, post: 9240743, member: 6799660"] [B][I]tl/dr:[/I][/B][I] marriage and/or kids are just like all the other commitments that tend to accumulate as you get older; and the primary way to keep gaming going with competing commitments is to communicate, coordinate, and advocate for your preferences.[/I] I am married. We do not have kids. My wife is not a gamer. She has her own hobbies (and we have shared hobbies as well). I've made clear that gaming is important to my mental health and happiness, and my wife respects that. It takes priority for me, so much as leisure activities do. I make sure I can game by making sure my commitments do not come due during the scheduled game time. This requires me to be very organized, to be very good at coordinating with my wife, and to have a 'do your chores first' mentality, so that come game time, I already have all the things that might come up done. Honestly speaking (and for myself), I don't feel that the married-ness contributes to the challenges of gaming moreso than simply being more of an adult with adult responsibilities and commitments than I was at the age when I was single. I have a house, a car, retirement accounts, a job (that I certainly don't leave behind when I log off for the day), a TBI, compared to my 20s I have to work-out and cook real meals to stay healthy, and my parents are getting older and need my help. That's what tends to conflict with gaming. Sure, some weekends it is my wife's parents who need help, or the interfering activity is orchestra tickets we have together, but more often then not, no. If I miss gaming, it is because of stuff I would be doing as a middle aged single person as well. The folks with kids... yeah, you do have to spend a lot of time taking care of their needs, and there's going to be a lot less 'fairness' arguments you can make about it. That's part of the commitment. It's not cut and dried though, and you can say that you need X things that are for you and if gaming is a high enough priority, well then it must take precedence 9 times out of 10. To do that, you need to set expectations, and negotiate for what you want, and you and your spouse need to be willing and able to coordinate and plan ahead. And you may need to agree that if they are responsible for minivan duties on Saturday afternoon, then maybe the Sunday morning that in your 20s you could have slept in with a hangover you are instead up making pancakes and making sure the short people of the house make it to their playdates. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Community
General Tabletop Discussion
*TTRPGs General
DnD while married/relationship - any advice
Top