This is me as well. One of my players and I independently judged "both Heroic and Gritty" for my game.phindar said:I voted "Normal", but that represents an average of my preferences. My preferred default style is Gritty, but I like to have a limited number of karma-based resources (Hero or Action Points) that can stave off death.
I really dislike death in my games (multiple deaths, especially, actually kinda depress me), so my very few house rules are designed to make death a little less likely, but also more final. (I use action points and death at negative-Con. I've replaced raise dead and resurrection with revivify and resuscitate, which respectively allow rounds or minutes to get to a dead PC and revive him or her. I've kept reincarnate and true resurrection, the first because it's especially fun, and the second because as a ninth-level spell, it's mostly a plot point.)
On the other hand, I roll all dice in front of the players. To the extent that I "fudge," it takes the form of realistic enemy behavior. For example, a (sane) enemy fighting for his life against another PC won't take the full-round action to coup de grace, even if he could probably survive the AoO. An insane enemy, on the other hand, may do just that. Truly homicidal bad guys are to be feared for what they'll do.