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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Rel" data-source="post: 2721412" data-attributes="member: 99">I agree that "be confident" is not very helpful advice.  I'll give you something concrete and you can decide whether it is stupid or not:A risk where you have nothing to lose is not a risk.That's what approaching a woman is about.  You have nothing and stand to gain everything.  There is no deal so sweet in all the universe as that.  Confidence is not the notion that you'll win every encounter with womankind.  Confidence is knowing that you'll SURVIVE FAILURE and try again."But," you say, "this prospect terrifies me."  Terrifies you more than what?!  More than the self-loathing and fear of being alone your whole life and knowing that you've done nothing to deserve otherwise?  I am familiar with self-loathing and there is NOTHING worse that I can imagine.  Do you think that other guys aren't afraid when they put themselves out there and strike up a conversation with a woman?  But they do it anyway because that's how you get past the fear and eventually how you find somebody to share this crazy life with.If you see an attractive woman, and if she's not wearing a shirt that says, "Womyn Rule, Men Suk!" while holding an operational chain saw, then get your ass over there and talk to her.  And then when she turns you down and sends you away, go home and feel the depression of being shot down instead of the far worse feeling that you never even tried.  Then get up the next morning and go do it again.  And again.  Until you get a date.  And when that relationship fails in its infancy go do it again.Fail.  Fail often and gloriously until you understand that failure means nothing.You are NOT special and if you think that this cruel universe is just going to hand you the perfect relationship with no effort or hardship on your part then you're playing a game with long odds.  If you're going to play those odds then buy a lotto ticket too.  And when you win then have a t-shirt with your net worth on it printed for every day of the week.  Because that's the only other way that you're going to land chicks if you won't make the effort.</blockquote>

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