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Message: <blockquote data-quote="LostSoul" data-source="post: 2722000" data-attributes="member: 386">I'm going to say that I don't think this is great advice.There are times when the pain from failure is worse than the pain from not trying.  All you do is reinforce your own idea that you are going to fail, and the more times it happens the stronger that idea gets, and that makes failure more probable, repeat.I'd suggest starting off small.  I think AA has some kind of rule about not dating for a long time after you get sober.  The idea is to get comfortable with yourself first.  That's what you gotta do.So take some small risks (whatever those risks are for you - maybe it's just going for a walk, maybe it's climbing a mountain) and start off there.  Once you get used to failing - and succeeding - at something, your confidence will grow to the point where you can try things you couldn't before.  Then you can build a self-reinforcing pattern that builds and builds confidence until you are able to do the things you want (and when you get there, I'll bet you'll be surprised that women won't be such a big deal).This will take a long time even if you work really hard at it.  Figure about a year if you're in therapy, more if you're not.  The only good thing is that you will be able to see things getter better - not over the days, or even the weeks, but month-to-month things will improve.  A journal would help you actually take notice of the progress you're making that you'd normally ignore, since you spend all of your time with yourself and the changes are so gradual that you won't notice it until something big happens.</blockquote>

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