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Message: <blockquote data-quote="fusangite" data-source="post: 2722945" data-attributes="member: 7240">Thanks. That was a good time. Only nine months to go until we get to do it again (sadly, of course, that will also mark the end of the Year of Rel). And regarding the favourite people I've met through ENWorld, right back at you! People are coming from the 416 area code, looking forward to meeting you based on my recommendation. The lesbians quote has been shared with many.It's a good question. I don't have a solid answer for this one. But the fact that I can't adequately explain it doesn't make it less true. I could theorize wildly (the main thing I do around here) and suggest that flooding as a method for neutralizing phobias usually involves showing people that something good can come from facing their fear, not just that something non-lethal can come from it. Being rejected is bad; it's just not as bad as a bunch of other things. From what I've read about consistent exposure to fears like water or heights, usually flooding strategies are centred around achieving some positive objective not just not dying.Same here. As one ages, the world just seems more and more full of beautiful women; doesn't it? But it appears that women who are 30lbs overweight and never dress nicely don't have, as far as I can tell, any different assessment of my attractiveness than hot 105lb 19 year olds. As I observed about my landlady in my first post, no matter how desperate a woman is, self-confidence does seem to be a pretty universal deal-breaker.I did that 3 years ago. Gone out with a bunch of fat chicks, and a couple who were not, one of whom things actually looked promising with for a week or two. Or at least that was the case until a year ago. Standards seem to have risen dramatically; now women won't continue to correspond with me after 2 or more iterations of e-mailing, which is weird. Back home, 90% of women I successfully made initial contact with, I ended up going on a date with. Since I moved to this new city, even though I have the same profile, a better photo, and the identical correspondence style, the rate at which I can turn initial contact into a date has dropped from 90% to 3%. Literally. No exaggeration. I'm still trying to piece together what's gone wrong on this front. As an aside, has anyone else noticed a sudden increase in women's standards on Lavalife?I'm with you here. Trying is a necessary condition but not a sufficient condition. But I don't see Aaron's problem as being based around the dating thing at all. Something has caused him to start drinking heavily and lose contact with his friends; I think that's the problem we should be focusing on here. It's very easy for these threads to devolve into attempts by more romantically successful ENWorlders to assist we less sucessful ones in that sphere. But I think it's a mistake to see Aaron's problem in this way at all. Guys who stop seeing their friends need to solve that problem first, before they can even think about more risky, emotionally intense kinds of relationships.C'mon -- where's the guy with all that statistical skill you display on other threads? What portion of the male population needs to be engaged in reproduction for that to keep going? I believe a significantly smaller proportion than currently are. Anyway, Aaron, please don't get bogged down in all the girlfriend stuff posted here. You have more serious issues to deal with -- but on the plus side, not only are these issues more serious, they are also easier to resolve. Bonne chance!</blockquote>

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