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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Warrior Poet" data-source="post: 2726780" data-attributes="member: 1057">Aaron, congratulations.  You've accomplished something, a worthy, worthwhile thing, and you made progress, so now, try to look back on that and recognize it as an achievement, not just a circumstance.  You did it!  No one else did.  You lost the 30.  Know how many people would like to lose 30 lbs.?  But you did it.  OK, one accomplishment in the bank.  Another accomplishment might be maintaining your weight and working on physical therapy to improve your back.  It will take time, effort, and you can measure your progress (including setbacks, which happen to everybody.  Everybody).On the contrary, that IS much.  Do you know how often blood banks are short of the monthly amounts they'd like to have?  So, there's something else you've done that is significant, and measurable, and also highly altruistic and generous.  You've already established that you're a nice guy, and now you can take Confidence in the fact that you contribute something back to people who need it.OK, so why don't you give her a call.  See?  She's been calling you, but if you don't call her, she's going to feel like she makes all the effort, why doesn't he call?  So call, and go out.  Get out there.OK, fair enough, so now maybe it's time to meet some people on your own and make them your own friends.  Not your brother's friends (and there's nothing wrong with them), but your own, which means putting yourself into social situations, finding common interests with people, and discussing those things, then setting future plans to meet with those people and continue the discussions, or try new things, and visit places of interest to spark further connection.OK, this might be another reason to seek professional help from a doctor or counselor who might be able to advise you on ways to develop more independence, and independence breeds . . . Confidence!But you do have reason, and that's what a lot of us have been trying to tell you.  You need to see your accomplishments as accomplishments, not just circumstance.  Hell, Aaron, I don't give blood, and that's really lame.  How hard is it to do?  But you do it, regularly, and that's something you can have confidence in, feel good about yourself about (my god, what an awful prepositional train wreck that sentence was).You have to realize you do have reasons.  We can't realize it for you.  You have to realize that you do have reasons.Warrior Poet</blockquote>

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