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does a nice, shy, meek guy have a chance in hell?
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<blockquote data-quote="Teflon Billy" data-source="post: 2726962" data-attributes="member: 264"><p>OK Aaron...it's "Hard Truth" time (stop cringing, it's not going to be so bad).</p><p></p><p>If getting a woman is important to you--and it sounds like it is, and in my opinion it should be--then you are going to need to put in some working hours, OK?</p><p></p><p>Now pay attention here, and don't discount what I say. People are going to--probably in this very thread--say that the advice I'm giving you is abhorrent.</p><p></p><p>You are twenty-nine, never had a woman, and have a level of self-esteem that is positively <em>gut shot</em>, correct?</p><p></p><p>Here's what you need to do: Date ugly women for awhile.</p><p></p><p>I've seen pictures of you and you are a reasonably decent looking guy (you also describe some current weight loss which I'm sure has helped)...so, from a normal, north american's point of view, you are already a step up in the game: You are above average looking.</p><p></p><p>Which means that you are going to be capable of making a good first impression. Unfortuantely, by your own admission, you are a walking disaster confidence-wise. I'lltake your word for this, I can't imagine why you'd lie.</p><p></p><p>So here is the deal: you need to start "fighting under your weight" so to speak. That means Fat Girls, Ugly girls, Stupid Girls...I don't care. You need to date someone who is <em>less</em> than you.</p><p></p><p>Settle down. This is the "work" part, it's not necessarily supposed to be enjoyable.</p><p></p><p>However, it will do a couple of things</p><p></p><p>First, it will let <em>other</em> girls see you with a girl. I don't know why, but if a guy is already involved with a girl, he becomes more attractive to other girls. There will be more interest in you fromthe opposite sex for no other reason than you are already "Taken"</p><p></p><p>Secondly, it will get "other girls" thinking in terms of "what is he doing with her?" when you and the freak show roll into town rather than what you describe (Them finding you repulsive) orwhat I suspect is actually the case (them giving you no thought whatsoever).</p><p></p><p>Thirdly, it will "get you over the hump"...you need to get the ball rolling so to speak, and you are going to do that by starting at the bottom and working your way up. I think if you had more confidence, you could probably start in the middle, but--and thisis not criticism--you don't.</p><p></p><p>Fourthly and finally, it will give "other girls" the impression that you look for more in a girl than classic good looks. I suspect this is likely true, but there is no way for "othjer girls" to really know this fact in your day-to-day (non)interaction with them. This is clear, empirical evidence.</p><p></p><p>So I'm serious Aaron...go date a fat girl, but remember why you are doing it. I'm not saying don't enjoy yourself--hell, she might be awesome, and you might wind up in love--but go do it, with no other expectations than starting at the bottom and working your way up, repairing your ruined confidence, actually <em>starting</em> your life with the opposite sex.</p><p></p><p>And whoever did that "Teflon Billy Signal", that was awesome<img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Teflon Billy, post: 2726962, member: 264"] OK Aaron...it's "Hard Truth" time (stop cringing, it's not going to be so bad). If getting a woman is important to you--and it sounds like it is, and in my opinion it should be--then you are going to need to put in some working hours, OK? Now pay attention here, and don't discount what I say. People are going to--probably in this very thread--say that the advice I'm giving you is abhorrent. You are twenty-nine, never had a woman, and have a level of self-esteem that is positively [i]gut shot[/i], correct? Here's what you need to do: Date ugly women for awhile. I've seen pictures of you and you are a reasonably decent looking guy (you also describe some current weight loss which I'm sure has helped)...so, from a normal, north american's point of view, you are already a step up in the game: You are above average looking. Which means that you are going to be capable of making a good first impression. Unfortuantely, by your own admission, you are a walking disaster confidence-wise. I'lltake your word for this, I can't imagine why you'd lie. So here is the deal: you need to start "fighting under your weight" so to speak. That means Fat Girls, Ugly girls, Stupid Girls...I don't care. You need to date someone who is [i]less[/i] than you. Settle down. This is the "work" part, it's not necessarily supposed to be enjoyable. However, it will do a couple of things First, it will let [i]other[/i] girls see you with a girl. I don't know why, but if a guy is already involved with a girl, he becomes more attractive to other girls. There will be more interest in you fromthe opposite sex for no other reason than you are already "Taken" Secondly, it will get "other girls" thinking in terms of "what is he doing with her?" when you and the freak show roll into town rather than what you describe (Them finding you repulsive) orwhat I suspect is actually the case (them giving you no thought whatsoever). Thirdly, it will "get you over the hump"...you need to get the ball rolling so to speak, and you are going to do that by starting at the bottom and working your way up. I think if you had more confidence, you could probably start in the middle, but--and thisis not criticism--you don't. Fourthly and finally, it will give "other girls" the impression that you look for more in a girl than classic good looks. I suspect this is likely true, but there is no way for "othjer girls" to really know this fact in your day-to-day (non)interaction with them. This is clear, empirical evidence. So I'm serious Aaron...go date a fat girl, but remember why you are doing it. I'm not saying don't enjoy yourself--hell, she might be awesome, and you might wind up in love--but go do it, with no other expectations than starting at the bottom and working your way up, repairing your ruined confidence, actually [i]starting[/i] your life with the opposite sex. And whoever did that "Teflon Billy Signal", that was awesome:) [/QUOTE]
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