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does a nice, shy, meek guy have a chance in hell?
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<blockquote data-quote="Rel" data-source="post: 2727504" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>People often ask me, "Rel, why is it that you're so confident that you're an attractive individual, mind, body and soul?" And let me be clear that when I say "people" I mean "virtually nobody" and when I say "often" I mean "almost never". But regardless of that fact, what I would say is this:</p><p></p><p>"It's the Epiphany, baby." *wink&gun*</p><p></p><p>The Epiphany in question ranks right up there among the very best epiphanies that I've had in my life. If I smoked, I'd have needed a cigarette after this one. "What," you may ask, "was so special about this particular epiphany." I'm going to tell you right after another sip of this wine...</p><p></p><p>(Wine is good for epiphanies you know. Especially if you're not overly concerned with quality.)</p><p></p><p>One day I was contemplating my irrelevance and relative lack of importance to anybody but myself. (I wasn't always as confident as I am today.) One way in which I was contemplating my meaninglessness was in comparison to the long line of people from whom I'm descended. I took this a step further by adding the consideration that (because I believe in evolution) there was many a critter who came before the people who eventually spawned me. Hundreds of thousands of them. Maybe millions! How insignificant am I?!</p><p></p><p>But as I was thinking about this long line of ancestors, a thought began to creep through. What was it that these creatures and, eventually, people, had in common? Some of them were smart and some were dumb. Some were doubtlessly very complex individuals and some were unicellular. But they all had one thing in common: They successfully reproduced.</p><p></p><p>"My GOD!" I thought at that moment, "I've been bred for millions upon millions of years to be the <strong>perfect screwing machine!</strong>" <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f631.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":eek:" title="Eek! :eek:" data-smilie="9"data-shortname=":eek:" /> "I was born to fornicate!"</p><p></p><p>Think about it...all those millions of ancestors managed to get together and do the dirty with each other. And they lacked the benefit of deoderant and toothpaste! How could I lose?!</p><p></p><p>It probably helps that I'm funny and smart and tall and good looking and a good GM (that last one probably only helps a little). But I know in my heart that I was bred for one reason...</p><p></p><p>To breed the next generation of breeders.</p><p></p><p>For this task I am supremely qualified and I'd like to think I've taken the job seriously. <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f609.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" data-smilie="2"data-shortname=";)" /></p><p></p><p></p><p>Oh, and speaking of epiphanies, try this one on for size, fusangite: You need to get back into politics. Those guys score more ass than Kenny Chesney.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Rel, post: 2727504, member: 99"] People often ask me, "Rel, why is it that you're so confident that you're an attractive individual, mind, body and soul?" And let me be clear that when I say "people" I mean "virtually nobody" and when I say "often" I mean "almost never". But regardless of that fact, what I would say is this: "It's the Epiphany, baby." *wink&gun* The Epiphany in question ranks right up there among the very best epiphanies that I've had in my life. If I smoked, I'd have needed a cigarette after this one. "What," you may ask, "was so special about this particular epiphany." I'm going to tell you right after another sip of this wine... (Wine is good for epiphanies you know. Especially if you're not overly concerned with quality.) One day I was contemplating my irrelevance and relative lack of importance to anybody but myself. (I wasn't always as confident as I am today.) One way in which I was contemplating my meaninglessness was in comparison to the long line of people from whom I'm descended. I took this a step further by adding the consideration that (because I believe in evolution) there was many a critter who came before the people who eventually spawned me. Hundreds of thousands of them. Maybe millions! How insignificant am I?! But as I was thinking about this long line of ancestors, a thought began to creep through. What was it that these creatures and, eventually, people, had in common? Some of them were smart and some were dumb. Some were doubtlessly very complex individuals and some were unicellular. But they all had one thing in common: They successfully reproduced. "My GOD!" I thought at that moment, "I've been bred for millions upon millions of years to be the [b]perfect screwing machine![/b]" :eek: "I was born to fornicate!" Think about it...all those millions of ancestors managed to get together and do the dirty with each other. And they lacked the benefit of deoderant and toothpaste! How could I lose?! It probably helps that I'm funny and smart and tall and good looking and a good GM (that last one probably only helps a little). But I know in my heart that I was bred for one reason... To breed the next generation of breeders. For this task I am supremely qualified and I'd like to think I've taken the job seriously. ;) Oh, and speaking of epiphanies, try this one on for size, fusangite: You need to get back into politics. Those guys score more ass than Kenny Chesney. [/QUOTE]
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