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Message: <blockquote data-quote="dorentir" data-source="post: 2728967" data-attributes="member: 18510">Hello;I haven't read all of the past entries, only the first page.  I'm not qualified to make any diagnosis but I would really suggest to you that you get a counselor of some type.  A few years ago I was overwhelmed with stress and my wife finally talked me into going to see a therapist.  It was the best thing I ever did for myself even though it is still a long and painful process.  I go to see him every week.I've discovered with my therapist's help that I've suffered from depression and mood swings my entire life and didn't know it.  As a stranger I'd like to offer you words of support, but they won't help much.  You need to do some work with a professional --- stress and depression can kill you --- it's a serious condition --- and my telling you to "cheer up" or "look on the bright side" might help you feel better for a moment, but from my own experience I know that your black mood will return --- as bad or worse than ever.  Ironically, worrying about my depression made me feel more depressed.  I'd tell myself to "buck up" and later feel even worse because the fact that I was depressed seemed like it was "my fault" and "if I wanted to, I could shake this depression, blah, blah, blah."  My experience is that depression becomes like an infection -- it mutates and fights to preserve itself.  First you feel unhappy and you think you ought to be able to pull yourself out of your black mood... but you fail and then blame yourself, driving yourself deeper into depression.I'm no expert on matters of romance or love, but I believe you can't love someone else unless you love yourself first.  Depression makes you want to believe that you have not found "love" in your life because you don't deserve love, or no one could love you, or whatever.  I know those things because I have been there.  My wife insisted I go to a therapist because she just didn't know what to do about my black moods.  If I hadn't agreed to go, she might have left me.I also go through "good phases" where I am able to fool myself into thinking that I don't suffer from depression  The fact that sometimes I felt fine convinced me that I didn't need any help -- that my moods were just something passing and I would get over them.  But the depression will return --- I know I will be working with my therapist for at least another few years, maybe more.  I'm not out of the woods yet but I'm miles ahead of where I was a few years ago.I also know that drugs perscribed by a psychiatrist have made a very positive change in my life.On the first page of this thread (the only one I read), there were some good pieces of advice --- like joining social clubs like churches, etc.  I'm not a religious man, but in some of my worst times, before I started getting the help I needed, I enrolled in some studio art classes... and it was really good.  I've always enjoyed creative pursuits but when my black moods hit me I didn't even want to pick up a pencil to doodle on scrap paper -- I had no creative energy.  But having the structure of a class, with other people there, really helped to spark my creativity.  Realize that there were times when I didn't want to go to class, but since I was paying for it I dragged myself there... and in retrospect, I think it was really good for me.  Depression isolates you --- remember what I said about depression being a kind of diesease that seeks to preserve itself.  So when you are isolated, depression will feel much stronger which is why depressed people get so isolated.  Depression itself wants to keep you isolated so that it can have you all to itself.OK.  Enough of my lecturing.  I just read your first post and realized that you and I are a lot alike.  You are not alone.  But there is help.  My suggestion -- find a therapist and start going to regular sessions first.  Ask your doctor about Xanax or Celexa (I take Celexa every day).  If your MD won't help you (many family doctors seem reluctant to perscribe Celexa), go to a psychologist (my therapist does not perscribe; I go to a psychologist for that).  You are not helpless but you cannot do this by yourself.  And you would be astounded at how many people suffer from the same problem --- but unlike suffering from arthritis or asthma, suffering from depression isn't an illness that most people in general society want to talk about.  So go to the experts.  They will help you.</blockquote>

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