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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Elf Witch" data-source="post: 6072899" data-attributes="member: 9037">This is not a simple question it really depends on what is being asked and who is asking.To break it down as a DM I try and say yes to reasonable requests and I always say let me think about it before saying no. That gives me a chance to consider all the ramifications and if necessary tweak what they are asking. As a player I do ask how else is the DM supposed to know what you would like. Now I don't ask in a way that is a demand it is more of a request for consideration. For example after my familiar bit the dust I took the improved familiar feat and I talked to the DM about maybe adapting the fairy dragon from AD&D instead of a psuedodragon because I knew that was what another player wanted. Instead the DM said trust me I will give you a familiar that I think you will really like and will really fir the story. He gave me a lantern archon and yes it was far better than a fairy dragon.   As a parent I learned that there are times no is the right answer. Even now that my child is an adult there are still times no is the right answer though I find it easier to say yes because the requests are far more reasonable. Usually now when I say no it is because I don't think I can do something not that I don't want to do it. In social situations it really depends on what the request is I try and be a good friend and to help when I can. But I have learned that you sometimes have to say no because you can't handle the request for what ever reason. Learning to say no to people I care a great deal about was a very hard lesson for me to learn. I always considered it selfish to say no. But it is not you have to take care of yourself and your basic needs first before you can be in a position to help others you also have to be aware of your limitations. For example I was always there to help people move. Now I have to say no because of my back I can't lift anything or bend and pack. Though if you just want my company to keep you motivated that I can do. I also learned that it is okay to ask for things. People are not mind readers. There is an art to asking for things one important thing to remember is that asking does not mean getting and you have to be able to take no graciously.</blockquote>

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