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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Hairy Minotaur" data-source="post: 2784553" data-attributes="member: 11574">Kung-Fu gnomes and penetrating gazes"Hey Paquito, while you're gawking up there, just think what a troll-minotaur baby would look like. A giant pile of feces with horns." Lothred announces from the back of the room"True, but it would have a great pedigree. No?" Paquito replies"Ugh, I think I'm going to be sick." Sillaqui intones"That's his job. No?" Paquito replies pointing at Finrod.Of course the rest of the party just hear Sillaqui and then Paquito reply to her while pointing at Finrod."What are you saying? Are you trying to get me killed?" Finrod erupts in paranoiaPaquito shrugs his shoulders and sheepishly grins back at Finrod before giving him a "thumbs up" sign."EEEEELCH!" A piercing scream shatters Paquito's right eardrum just prior to a gangly arm whipping past his neck.Korg and Gronar watch as the troll queen begins to emerge from her basting bath. The two giants look at each other and shout "Now!"Both giant's weapons rain down upon the soaked troll, sending spraying streams of black troll blood towards the ceiling when they upswing. The troll queen stands upon her throne, back to the party, eyeing the two giants with viscous malice. Her wounded shoulders ooze onto the lapping tongues, which move to lick and caress the wounds. By the time the giants are ready to bring their weapons to bear against her a second time, her wounds are a mere scratch."We're going to need to kill off those tongues in order to stop her!" Finrod shouts and moves up behind Paquito"Why would we want that? It's a magnificent magical device, I should like to take it home with me." Lothred objects"I don't think the queen is going to just let you take it." Ratchet advises"Well, she can come with it, I'll need a consort anyway, better to have one that can heal herself after a night of vigorous flogging." Lothred answers while nudging and winking at RatchetLuciann unleashes a flurry of magic missiles into the back of the queen. Omar produces another flame in his hand and throws it at the queen, it lands on her head and the immediately bursts into a roaring flame as oils and excretions in the troll's hair ignite.Looking more like a gaunt azer than a troll, the queen turns to face the rest of the party, as she does so she kneels on the throne and arches her head back so that the tongue's caresses can extinguish the fire. The two giants beat on her again with their weapons, this time however, Gronar uses a sweeping motion and shaves off a few tongues with each strike, before his blade slices into the troll queen's arm and ribs. The tongues undulate in the air as their severed part turns a sickly pale color and land with a thud, akin to dropped stone, upon the dirt floor.Dur remains kneeled, head down, unwilling to view his queen in her au natural state. Ratchet looses a searing light into the face of the queen, burning and scaring her already blackened face. Finrod shoves his right shoulder into the back of a drooling Paquito, before making his way up to the throne's platform on the dais.The troll queen uses her long legs to trip Finrod as he approaches her with his blade up high. Finrod stumbles  face first into a mass of wagging tongues at the base of the throne. The tongues instinctively latch onto and draw the elf's head into their salivating grasp. Unprepared for the squirming of tongues on his scalp, Finrod drops his weapon and tries to pull himself free, but to no avail. Luciann throws another round of magic missiles at the troll, while Omar waddles up to the dais, intent on freeing Finrod. "You gonna help, or do I get to flame strike you for smoking flavor while we dine on cooked troll tonight?" Ratchet says emphasizing his disdain towards Lothred's inactivity thus far."You wanna go at it now lawn ornament?" Lothred says flinging his cloak open and lowering his staff to Ratchet's head levelRatchet shoves Lothred's staff down into the ground beneath him and then grabbing the staff with his left hand he vaults himself onto the staff feet first. Lothred watches in amazement as the little man runs up his staff headed right for Lothred. Lothred drops his staff, but ratchet continues to plow forward, as the staff descends towards the ground, Ratchet leaps off as her nears the end of the wood staff and draws his hand back in a fist. He mouths the words to an inflict spell, then nails Lothred's crotch with a fist of serious wounding. The blow crumples the proud magister as Ratchet does a little jig on the back of the fallen tiefling.Omar reaches the kicking legs of Finrod and tries to pull the elf free of the tongue's grasp, the troll queen reaches down and grabs the dwarf's head like a small bowling ball and hurls Omar through the air to crash into the humble Dur. Both bodies tumble over each other until the come to rest near the howling Lothred."Have you come to slay me spawn of Baphomet? Or perhaps you'd like a more livicious endeavor great horned one?" The queen speaks to Paquito through teeth the size of Ratchet's arm and as sharp as Lothred's wit. Paquito stands silent and motionless in response to the queen's questions."Ha, ha, ha! So you've come for your own doom then oh frightened one. I should have known your weak kind is only good for bellowing out their own inadequacies." The queen spits at Paquito then turns her back on the rest of the party to face the two hill giants.Korg brings his greatsword down upon the troll queen, only to have the queen reach out and grasp the head of the sword and shove the blade into the top of the throne, dozens of tongues immediately grapple the sword and hold it in place. The queen releases the blade and as she does so, she turns her palm face down to run over a couple of tongues who lap up her spilling blood and close the wound to her hand. "You see? I am a god!" The troll queen smiles at the astounded Korg who is unable to pry his blade free from the throne.The queen raises her arms in victory as Gronar brings his wide blade whistling down at the troll, the queen reaches out with both hands and cups the blade between her palms. She gives Gronar a wry smile as the giant tries to dislodge his sword. "What's the matter large one? Feeling inferior?" The queen cackles.Suddenly a searing pain erupts from the bowels of the queen, she looks down to find a five foot long horn sticking out from her gut, glistening with venom, the horn slowly retracts from it's newly created opening in the queen's abdomen.The queen staggers forward into the throne's back, she releases her grasp on Gronar's sword and Gronar wastes no time in driving the blade into the back of the troll. The waiting tongues eagerly beginning lapping up the gushing blood, however instead of healing the queen, the tongues wither a drop off like discarded cocoons. "AAArgh!" The queen spits forth blood from her mouth as she turns to greet a smiling Paquito."What's the matter queeny, tongues take a licking but couldn't keep ticking? One thing's for sure, the last thing you'll say you did in life was to get penetrated by the great farmer Paquito. No?" Korg frees his blade from the tongue's clutches and together with Gronar the two giants shred the queen into spell component parts.As the din of battle quiets down, a gasping Finrod pries himself free from the throne's grasp, and a weak little voice carries over the sighing room."Medic.... I... need... healing....." Lothred's pained voice calls out.</blockquote>

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