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<blockquote data-quote="WanderingMonster" data-source="post: 499505" data-attributes="member: 573"><p><strong>The Munchkin</strong></p><p></p><p><span style="color: red"><strong>I’m DM.</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><strong></strong></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><strong>DM I am. </strong></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><strong></strong></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><strong>Now make a PC, won’t you Sam? </strong></span></p><p></p><p>Oooh! Can I, can I be Undead? </p><p>A vampire maybe, one to dread?</p><p></p><p><span style="color: red"><strong>You cannot be a vampire, Sam!</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><strong>Try something living if you can.</strong></span></p><p></p><p>Hmmm. Maybe I would like to try</p><p>An elf with wings! Great wings to fly!</p><p></p><p><span style="color: red"><strong>You cannot possess wings to fly.</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><strong>It’s a balance issue, that is why.</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><strong>Use your feet to get around.</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><strong>Your PC must stay on ground!</strong></span></p><p></p><p>A mount then. Yes! A jet-black mare.</p><p>She’ll take me here, and take me there--</p><p></p><p><span style="color: red"><strong>Now you’re thinking, yes indeed.</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><strong>I like the concept of your steed!</strong></span></p><p></p><p>--and she’ll breathe fire, and have claws,</p><p>and she’ll crush armor in her jaws!</p><p>None of our foes will have a chance</p><p>As we charge with my <em>+5 lance</em>!</p><p></p><p><span style="color: red"><strong>A <em>+5 lance</em>?? A dragon horse???</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><strong>For first level you’re way off course!</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><strong>Try a druid of beast and flower.</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><strong>Work your way to greater power!</strong></span></p><p></p><p>A druid you say? With <em>wildshape</em>?</p><p>Why, I could be a dire ape!</p><p></p><p><span style="color: red"><strong>A dire ape? Could be a while...</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><strong>Perhaps a rogue is more your style.</strong></span></p><p></p><p>A rogue? No. Bard? No. This is hard!</p><p>Perhaps I’ll be a vile Blackguard!</p><p>Evil as the long dark night,</p><p>I’ll fight for darkness, not the light!</p><p></p><p><span style="color: red"><strong>One, this class is a Prestige,</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><strong>(My brain feels like it’s under siege).</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><strong>Two, a character with such loose morals</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><strong>Is bound to start some party quarrels!</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><strong></strong></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><strong>It’s not that your idea’s lame,</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><strong>It just won’t work within my game.</strong></span></p><p></p><p>Too evil, huh? I guess you’re right.</p><p>Best not to start a PC fight.</p><p>A fighter then. One with a sword.</p><p>With hopes to find a dragon’s hoard!</p><p></p><p><span style="color: red"><strong>A concept and quest to boot!</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><strong>Stay focused and you’ll get your loot.</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><strong>A fighter with a sword. How nice!</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><strong>Now grab a pen, and roll them dice!</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><strong></strong></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><strong>Just roll your stats, tie up loose ends </strong></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><strong>And I’ll go help our other friends.</strong></span></p><p></p><p>Oh crap! oh crap! I rolled a three!</p><p>But wait! The others did not see.</p><p>Before he comes, it’s not to late</p><p>To make that three look like an eight!</p><p>A lonely eight...well that’s no fun.</p><p>So to it’s left, I’ll add a one!</p><p></p><p>An eighteen! Look, it’s plain as day!</p><p>DM! DM! What do you say?</p><p></p><p><span style="color: red"><strong>I say you’re lucky Sam, well done!</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><strong>Now roll the rest and have some fun!</strong></span></p><p></p><p>He’s gone again, but I’ll roll straight.</p><p>But not d6’s! Four d8!</p><p>Four d8, and toss the low.</p><p>This is sure the way to go.</p><p></p><p>Strength, Dex, Con and Int and Wis.</p><p>Straight eighteens!! How sweet it is!</p><p>But five eighteens may seem suspicious,</p><p>And go against my DM’s wishes...</p><p></p><p>But if I must, it’ll have to be:</p><p>I’ll write Charisma in as three!</p><p>With my Charisma being so low</p><p>Why, only chance could make it so!</p><p></p><p>And if this one’s random, then so rest.</p><p>I think this logic will pass the test.</p><p>I’m done DM! My sheet’s complete!</p><p>Down to every Skill and Feat!</p><p></p><p><span style="color: red"><strong>Now let me see this fighter-chap...</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><strong>FIVE EIGHTEENS??? WHAT?? HOLY CRAP!!</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><strong>You cheated, here it’s plain to see--</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><strong>But wait...Charisma’s at a three.</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><strong></strong></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><strong>(If he’s been cheating everywhere,</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><strong>Then why not eighteen? Why not there??)</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><strong></strong></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><strong>You’ve won this time, my Munchkin friend.</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><strong>You’ve won. You’ve won. I’m at wit’s end.</strong></span></p><p></p><p>My PCs great, there is no doubt.</p><p>But greater PCs are about...</p><p>I know I’m right, I’ll stake my life</p><p>That the best PC’s the DMs wife!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WanderingMonster, post: 499505, member: 573"] [b]The Munchkin[/b] [COLOR=red][b]I’m DM. DM I am. Now make a PC, won’t you Sam? [/b][/COLOR][b][/B] Oooh! Can I, can I be Undead? A vampire maybe, one to dread? [COLOR=red][b]You cannot be a vampire, Sam! Try something living if you can.[/b][/COLOR][b][/B] Hmmm. Maybe I would like to try An elf with wings! Great wings to fly! [COLOR=red][b]You cannot possess wings to fly. It’s a balance issue, that is why. Use your feet to get around. Your PC must stay on ground![/b][/COLOR][b][/B] A mount then. Yes! A jet-black mare. She’ll take me here, and take me there-- [COLOR=red][b]Now you’re thinking, yes indeed. I like the concept of your steed![/b][/COLOR][b][/B] --and she’ll breathe fire, and have claws, and she’ll crush armor in her jaws! None of our foes will have a chance As we charge with my [i]+5 lance[/i]! [COLOR=red][b]A [i]+5 lance[/i]?? A dragon horse??? For first level you’re way off course! Try a druid of beast and flower. Work your way to greater power![/b][/COLOR][b][/B] A druid you say? With [i]wildshape[/i]? Why, I could be a dire ape! [COLOR=red][b]A dire ape? Could be a while... Perhaps a rogue is more your style.[/b][/COLOR][b][/B] A rogue? No. Bard? No. This is hard! Perhaps I’ll be a vile Blackguard! Evil as the long dark night, I’ll fight for darkness, not the light! [COLOR=red][b]One, this class is a Prestige, (My brain feels like it’s under siege). Two, a character with such loose morals Is bound to start some party quarrels! It’s not that your idea’s lame, It just won’t work within my game.[/b][/COLOR][b][/B] Too evil, huh? I guess you’re right. Best not to start a PC fight. A fighter then. One with a sword. With hopes to find a dragon’s hoard! [COLOR=red][b]A concept and quest to boot! Stay focused and you’ll get your loot. A fighter with a sword. How nice! Now grab a pen, and roll them dice! Just roll your stats, tie up loose ends And I’ll go help our other friends.[/b][/COLOR][b][/B] Oh crap! oh crap! I rolled a three! But wait! The others did not see. Before he comes, it’s not to late To make that three look like an eight! A lonely eight...well that’s no fun. So to it’s left, I’ll add a one! An eighteen! Look, it’s plain as day! DM! DM! What do you say? [COLOR=red][b]I say you’re lucky Sam, well done! Now roll the rest and have some fun![/b][/COLOR][b][/B] He’s gone again, but I’ll roll straight. But not d6’s! Four d8! Four d8, and toss the low. This is sure the way to go. Strength, Dex, Con and Int and Wis. Straight eighteens!! How sweet it is! But five eighteens may seem suspicious, And go against my DM’s wishes... But if I must, it’ll have to be: I’ll write Charisma in as three! With my Charisma being so low Why, only chance could make it so! And if this one’s random, then so rest. I think this logic will pass the test. I’m done DM! My sheet’s complete! Down to every Skill and Feat! [COLOR=red][b]Now let me see this fighter-chap... FIVE EIGHTEENS??? WHAT?? HOLY CRAP!! You cheated, here it’s plain to see-- But wait...Charisma’s at a three. (If he’s been cheating everywhere, Then why not eighteen? Why not there??) You’ve won this time, my Munchkin friend. You’ve won. You’ve won. I’m at wit’s end.[/b][/COLOR][b][/B] My PCs great, there is no doubt. But greater PCs are about... I know I’m right, I’ll stake my life That the best PC’s the DMs wife! [/QUOTE]
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