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<blockquote data-quote="Chronosome" data-source="post: 500857" data-attributes="member: 274"><p><strong>Oh, the Monsters You'll Slay!!!</strong></p><p></p><p>Oh, the monsters you'll slay!</p><p></p><p>Congratulations!</p><p>Today is your day.</p><p>You're off to the dungeon!</p><p>To pillage and slay!</p><p></p><p>You have feats you perform</p><p>You have skills in on your sheet</p><p>You can cast spells of magic</p><p>And have foes to defeat!</p><p>You're not on your own. There's your party in tow.</p><p>And together you'll venture to the warrens below.</p><p></p><p>You'll look up and down hallways. Look 'em over with care.</p><p>About some you will say, "There's no treasure down there."</p><p>With those feats you perform and those skills on your sheet,</p><p>You're too smart to settle for non-magical treats.</p><p></p><p>And you may not find much</p><p>Loot on the first floor.</p><p>In that case, of course,</p><p>You'll descend where there's more.</p><p></p><p>It's darker down there</p><p>At the foot of the stairs...</p><p></p><p>Down there Things are hungry</p><p>And frequently are</p><p>For Heros as foolish</p><p>And brave as you are.</p><p></p><p>And when Things spring an ambush</p><p>Don't worry. Don't stew.</p><p>Just carve through their necks</p><p>With your vorpal plus two.</p><p></p><p>OH!</p><p>THE MONSTERS YOU'LL SLAY!</p><p></p><p>You'll carve them all up!</p><p>You'll send them to Hells!</p><p>You'll flank them and sneak them</p><p>And destroy with your spells.</p><p></p><p>You won't fall disabled, because you have that Item.</p><p>The one that drains life from those Things as you fight 'em.</p><p>Whenever you hit, you'll become even stronger.</p><p>Whenever you kill, you will live even longer.</p><p></p><p>Except when you can't.</p><p>Because, this time, you shan't...</p><p></p><p>I'm delighted to say so</p><p>and, Hero, it's true</p><p>that something quite Evil</p><p>has happened to you.</p><p></p><p>You pilfered that Item</p><p>from the Temple of Zor.</p><p>Now your essence is mine</p><p>Your essence...and more.</p><p></p><p>As you fall to cold stone</p><p>And feel that cold sting,</p><p>My dark, umbral magic</p><p>Has created a Thing.</p><p></p><p>And as you rise again,</p><p>You're in for a treat.</p><p>For now it's your party</p><p>Who will taste the defeat.</p><p></p><p>You will chase them to levels where the paths are not clear.</p><p>You will see them in shadows. And feed from their fear.</p><p>In places befouled by the Evil of Zor!</p><p>Do they dare to fight back? Do they dare to steal more!?</p><p>How far can they run? Do they know the right lore?</p><p></p><p>And IF they beseech you to lay down your blade...</p><p>To holster your vorpal... To end your crusade...</p><p>Or reclaim your essence, to wrest it from me?</p><p>Simple, it's not, I'm afraid you will see,</p><p>For the Hero-now-Thing to betray my decree!</p><p></p><p>You can get so confused</p><p>that your soul will go mad</p><p>in torment to think of companions you had...</p><p>Liars, and cheaters, who've made you do bad</p><p>to the Things of my dungeon--and more you shall add.</p><p>You SHALL add...</p><p></p><p>...your friends to my Things.</p><p>Things which slay the innocent</p><p>or steal from those who hoard their cent</p><p>or don the blasphemer's raiment</p><p>or those who find their souls are spent</p><p>or worship me to this extent</p><p>or make a Hero's fool descent...</p><p>Everyone will know my Things.</p><p></p><p>Things which spit on human trust</p><p>or tempt the weak with mortal lust</p><p>or delight in that which does combust</p><p>or laugh as cities fall to dust</p><p>or mock those who feel they're just</p><p>or watch these mighty warriors rust</p><p>or make a Hero's fool sword-thrust...</p><p>Everyone will know my Things.</p><p></p><p>NO!</p><p>That's not for you!</p><p></p><p>Somehow you'll escape</p><p>All this madness and death.</p><p>You'll return to your party</p><p>and regain your breath.</p><p></p><p>With your vorpal steel gleaming</p><p>you'll hold your sword high!</p><p>Ready for anything my Things may try.</p><p>Ready because you're a high-level guy!</p><p></p><p>Oh, the monsters you'll slay! There is work to be done!</p><p>There are points to be scored. There are fights to be won.</p><p>And the incredible whirlwinds you make with that sword</p><p>will make you a most famous Hero, milord.</p><p>Fame! You'll be famous as famous can be</p><p>with all kingdoms singing the ballads of Thee.</p><p></p><p>Except when they can't.</p><p>Because, this time, they shan't...</p><p></p><p>I'm afraid that while you</p><p>and your party descended,</p><p>my Things have insured</p><p>these kingdoms had ended.</p><p></p><p>All Corrupted!</p><p>Whether you like it or not,</p><p>Corrupted is something</p><p>you'll be quite a lot.</p><p></p><p>And when you're corrupted, there's an excellent chance</p><p>you'll become Things that scare you right out of your pants.</p><p>There are Creatures down here, who live for destruction,</p><p>with powers to insure there'll be no resurrection.</p><p></p><p>And you will succumb</p><p>Though your heart may be pure.</p><p>You will succumb</p><p>of this I am sure.</p><p>You will succumb</p><p>as you have to my lure.</p><p>Downward through many</p><p>a frightening shock,</p><p>as your mind becomes thinner</p><p>and your heart becomes rock.</p><p></p><p>Down and down you will fall.</p><p>And I know you'll fall far</p><p>Chased by this evil</p><p>Wherever you are.</p><p></p><p>You'll give up, of course,</p><p>as you already know.</p><p>You'll give up</p><p>When you see what I've done as you go.</p><p>Be sure as you tread</p><p>to remember your role</p><p>in your homeland's demise</p><p>in the pit of your soul.</p><p>Just never forget that when you stole my Item,</p><p>You bestowed Zor on your world and you're too late to fight him.</p><p></p><p>And will you be damned?</p><p>Yes! You will, indeed!</p><p>(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)</p><p>WAIT, YOU ROLLED A NINETY-NINE!?</p><p></p><p>No...</p><p>You've been blessed by the luck of an impertinent die!?</p><p>I worked hard on this villain! Damn! Why, O, why???</p><p>You ruined his spell!</p><p>Let me see those dice!</p><p>Fine, you destroy Zor...</p><p></p><p>Dude...that was nice. <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Chronosome, post: 500857, member: 274"] [b]Oh, the Monsters You'll Slay!!![/b] Oh, the monsters you'll slay! Congratulations! Today is your day. You're off to the dungeon! To pillage and slay! You have feats you perform You have skills in on your sheet You can cast spells of magic And have foes to defeat! You're not on your own. There's your party in tow. And together you'll venture to the warrens below. You'll look up and down hallways. Look 'em over with care. About some you will say, "There's no treasure down there." With those feats you perform and those skills on your sheet, You're too smart to settle for non-magical treats. And you may not find much Loot on the first floor. In that case, of course, You'll descend where there's more. It's darker down there At the foot of the stairs... Down there Things are hungry And frequently are For Heros as foolish And brave as you are. And when Things spring an ambush Don't worry. Don't stew. Just carve through their necks With your vorpal plus two. OH! THE MONSTERS YOU'LL SLAY! You'll carve them all up! You'll send them to Hells! You'll flank them and sneak them And destroy with your spells. You won't fall disabled, because you have that Item. The one that drains life from those Things as you fight 'em. Whenever you hit, you'll become even stronger. Whenever you kill, you will live even longer. Except when you can't. Because, this time, you shan't... I'm delighted to say so and, Hero, it's true that something quite Evil has happened to you. You pilfered that Item from the Temple of Zor. Now your essence is mine Your essence...and more. As you fall to cold stone And feel that cold sting, My dark, umbral magic Has created a Thing. And as you rise again, You're in for a treat. For now it's your party Who will taste the defeat. You will chase them to levels where the paths are not clear. You will see them in shadows. And feed from their fear. In places befouled by the Evil of Zor! Do they dare to fight back? Do they dare to steal more!? How far can they run? Do they know the right lore? And IF they beseech you to lay down your blade... To holster your vorpal... To end your crusade... Or reclaim your essence, to wrest it from me? Simple, it's not, I'm afraid you will see, For the Hero-now-Thing to betray my decree! You can get so confused that your soul will go mad in torment to think of companions you had... Liars, and cheaters, who've made you do bad to the Things of my dungeon--and more you shall add. You SHALL add... ...your friends to my Things. Things which slay the innocent or steal from those who hoard their cent or don the blasphemer's raiment or those who find their souls are spent or worship me to this extent or make a Hero's fool descent... Everyone will know my Things. Things which spit on human trust or tempt the weak with mortal lust or delight in that which does combust or laugh as cities fall to dust or mock those who feel they're just or watch these mighty warriors rust or make a Hero's fool sword-thrust... Everyone will know my Things. NO! That's not for you! Somehow you'll escape All this madness and death. You'll return to your party and regain your breath. With your vorpal steel gleaming you'll hold your sword high! Ready for anything my Things may try. Ready because you're a high-level guy! Oh, the monsters you'll slay! There is work to be done! There are points to be scored. There are fights to be won. And the incredible whirlwinds you make with that sword will make you a most famous Hero, milord. Fame! You'll be famous as famous can be with all kingdoms singing the ballads of Thee. Except when they can't. Because, this time, they shan't... I'm afraid that while you and your party descended, my Things have insured these kingdoms had ended. All Corrupted! Whether you like it or not, Corrupted is something you'll be quite a lot. And when you're corrupted, there's an excellent chance you'll become Things that scare you right out of your pants. There are Creatures down here, who live for destruction, with powers to insure there'll be no resurrection. And you will succumb Though your heart may be pure. You will succumb of this I am sure. You will succumb as you have to my lure. Downward through many a frightening shock, as your mind becomes thinner and your heart becomes rock. Down and down you will fall. And I know you'll fall far Chased by this evil Wherever you are. You'll give up, of course, as you already know. You'll give up When you see what I've done as you go. Be sure as you tread to remember your role in your homeland's demise in the pit of your soul. Just never forget that when you stole my Item, You bestowed Zor on your world and you're too late to fight him. And will you be damned? Yes! You will, indeed! (98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.) WAIT, YOU ROLLED A NINETY-NINE!? No... You've been blessed by the luck of an impertinent die!? I worked hard on this villain! Damn! Why, O, why??? You ruined his spell! Let me see those dice! Fine, you destroy Zor... Dude...that was nice. :) [/QUOTE]
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