Dwarven Swearing 101


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Naturally, all you experienced Dwarfs out there understand proper Dwarven inflection, but for those of you peeking in who are not native speakers of Dwarf, I recommend attempting to pronounce the curses in your best imitation of Yosemite Sam. It will help your accent immensely.
 


On one occasion, our entire party had been taken captive for weeks-to-months (hard to tell when you’re in thrall) by a hive of beholders. We managed finally to break the Charms, organize, find our weapons, and attack.

The following was Bando’s war cry as he laid into the beholders and their kin with his two-headed, heavily-plussed, heavy war axe:

”Melonballin’ zeppelinpoppin’ eggbeatin’ excedrin’ kalamazooooooooo!”
Dwarven translation: “I, local representative of the dwarven race, and descendant of a long and illustrious line, do hearby forthrightly, with extreme prejudice and malice aforethought, commit all beholders in the vicinity to a painful and mighty THWACKING UPSIDE THE HEAD!”
 

KidCthulhu said:
There's a little town in New Hampshire that PC and I drive through on our way to visit his Mom in Vermont. It's called Contocook. Everytime we drive past, we shout "Contocook" in high, gnomish voices. It just sounds like a Gnomish word.

You try playing the dwarfy swear game. There are lots of words that work. One of my favorites is "Tonka Truck". I also like "Hasselhoff". As a word, not as an actor.

Ur Ma'am Contecook isn't a Gnomish word it's Halfling, or I guess it is. My sweet Tater Lidda shouts it at certin ur moments in our relantionship. Since this is a PG board and those are X rated moments thats all I can say. Except she shouts them loudly and with GREAT feeling :D
 


Nebin said:


Ur Ma'am Contecook isn't a Gnomish word it's Halfling, or I guess it is. My sweet Tater Lidda shouts it at certin ur moments in our relantionship. Since this is a PG board and those are X rated moments thats all I can say. Except she shouts them loudly and with GREAT feeling :D

heh heh
*wink wink*
*nudge nudge*
 

"Ter'ok'ilo traxian, Throum of Granim!"- "I Shall Severaly Wound you, Evil-Doer and Stealer of Swiss Cheese Everywhere!"
 

Telipesterfet Ballsackerfist: If you touch me there again, I will make sure my Warhammer touches you.

Petermoteeter Ohm Rankya: I have something here in my pants for you.
 

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