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<blockquote data-quote="VoidAdept" data-source="post: 2928561" data-attributes="member: 33950">I like what I'm seeing so far. If you don't mind, I might yoink this for a dwarven bard NPC I may be running.I'm thinking the rhythm for the first, second and third line in each verse might go like this:Ba-DUM-da dah, ba-DUM-da dah, ba-da daah-da-dah da-da-daah-dah.Or something like that. You don't want to hear me sing, believe me. <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f609.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=";)" title="Wink&nbsp; &nbsp; ;)"&nbsp; data-smilie="2"data-shortname=";)" />I'd drop the &quot;then&quot;, and maybe change &quot;over&quot; to &quot;o'er&quot; just because it sounds better. You'd be missing two syllables near the end, though.The &quot;The Rock of Battle&quot; part sounds clunky; I think replacing it with Clangeddin might smooth it out a bit.Grammar Nazi time. If you're talking about the dwarves in general, then it should go, &quot;With heavy hearts and heads held high&quot;. Regardless, I think dropping the &quot;a&quot; and &quot;his&quot; matches the rhythm better.I'm not sure what to make of the second stanza, and the third seems good.Now that I think of it, I think I've heard something like this before... it's vaguely reminiscent of &quot;The Minstrel Boy&quot;.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="VoidAdept, post: 2928561, member: 33950"] I like what I'm seeing so far. If you don't mind, I might yoink this for a dwarven bard NPC I may be running. I'm thinking the rhythm for the first, second and third line in each verse might go like this: Ba-DUM-da dah, ba-DUM-da dah, ba-da daah-da-dah da-da-daah-dah. Or something like that. You don't want to hear me sing, believe me. ;) I'd drop the "then", and maybe change "over" to "o'er" just because it sounds better. You'd be missing two syllables near the end, though. The "The Rock of Battle" part sounds clunky; I think replacing it with Clangeddin might smooth it out a bit. Grammar Nazi time. If you're talking about the dwarves in general, then it should go, "With heavy hearts and heads held high". Regardless, I think dropping the "a" and "his" matches the rhythm better. I'm not sure what to make of the second stanza, and the third seems good. Now that I think of it, I think I've heard something like this before... it's vaguely reminiscent of "The Minstrel Boy". [/QUOTE]

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