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Message: <blockquote data-quote="MGibster" data-source="post: 9511332" data-attributes="member: 4534">I ran a campaign recently that was not to the liking of one of my players.  Instead of talking to me about it directly, he had his character behave in a disruptive manner just to stir the pot, he made passive aggressive complaints, and when he had to replace his character introduced a new one who didn't at all fit into the campaign while giving him the stupidest name imaginable.  It's something the other players noticed, one even commented about it, but I never addressed the issue with the player on a one-to-one basis like I should have.  I did ask all the players what I could do to improve the experience for them, they gave me useful feedback which I incorporated to various degrees of success, but I should have talked to the player. This isn't the first time I've had problems with this player.  In past campaigns he's done things just to stir the pot that left me and the other players a bit exasperated at times.  Mostly I thought it was behind us, but the disruptive behavior and passive aggressive comments came back in a big way.  It's obvious I'm going to have to talk to him.  A few years ago, I had to take a course at work called Crucial Conversations which was all about how to have important and difficult conversations at work.  It was mostly common sense stuff and if I could sum up the course it'd be as follows:  <ol> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Be empathetic and have a positive intent for the discussion.  </li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Stay on topic.  </li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Don't be accusatory.  </li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Try to remain calm.  </li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Agree on a mutual purpose.  </li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Come up with a plan of action.  </li> </ol>What does this mean?<ol> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">I'm starting the conversation knowing he doesn't like certain campaign types and hoping to arrive at a solution that is acceptable to him, me, and the rest of the players. </li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">I dont plan on bringing up anything other than examples of game play and comments.  </li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">I won't accuse him of being a jerk or purposely messing things up for everyone.  </li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">I'll do my best to remain calm about anything negative he has to say about my GMing. </li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Hopefully we will both agree that we just want the game to be best for everyone.  </li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">What can both of us do to ensure the game goes well for everyone?  </li> </ol>I understand the sad truth is that communication doesn't necessarily lead to finding an acceptable solution.  There's a possibility that we won't reach a mutually acceptable solution and the best course of action might be for him not to participate in any games I'm running.  I know some of the other players at the table are a little frustrated because his inclusion in our group limits the types of games we can play.  But we're all friends and nobody wants to hurt anyone's feelings.</blockquote>

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