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<blockquote data-quote="Vraille Darkfang" data-source="post: 2329757" data-attributes="member: 16989"><p>Well,</p><p></p><p>I'm off the hard stuff.</p><p></p><p>In fact, I wasn't SUPPOSED to be on the hard stuff, but after 2 hours of the dentist hammer around with a chisel (I wish I was joking), it became appent I was going to need something better than Novicane.</p><p></p><p>(Thus why I had to drive myslef home (I wasn't supposed to be taking anything 'special', and had noone to call to take me home).</p><p></p><p>Why are elves vegetarians? Well they seem to be the most harmonious with nature, and I've never seen that much about them haing a bunch of domesticated animals. So, aside from a fat squirrel, plump sparrow, & the occasional deer, I expect the vast majority of an elf's diet is plant related (like human hunter-gathers). Note: Keebler Elves thrive on Baked Goods, While Polar elves have to survive on all the Milk & Cookies their obese overlord can't choke down.</p><p></p><p>So, if any core race is primarly vegetarian, it would be elves. Vegetarians fart more. Thus Elves Fart more than any other PC race (drugs + logic= WTF). It also appears Elves have really bad BO.</p><p></p><p>Scene in Lord of the Rings where they go to the elven city should have been: "Frodo look at this! Oh my god! Can't breathe, help...." (Thud) Roll Credits.</p><p></p><p>Thus we now know elves are a bunch of stinky people who fart all the time. No wonder people hate them.</p><p></p><p>Other observations while using a prescribed medication.</p><p></p><p>1. While watching the Hummingbirds fight over the feeder (Nothing could be meaner than a half-dragon hummingbird. That's got to be one f***** up dragon to think 'Can I mate with that?')</p><p></p><p>2. While watching the 13 woodpeckers (that's an accurate count BTW) fight over the peanut feeder. (You can kill any treant by coating it in peanut butter. It will act as a Summon Monster IX Fiendish Dire Woodpecker spell).</p><p></p><p>3. Paris Hilton would make a good elf. A really, really, really skanky elf. Who used Int as a dump stat. Big time.</p><p></p><p>4. Bears do their business in the woods. Elves do their business in the woods. Do elves & bears ever hav that unconfortable silence when they both meet each other in the middle of the pure mountain stream and realize they've chosen the same spot. Do they compare sizes?</p><p></p><p>5. While hearing about how you can use a Beer Enema to fool a breathilizer test. (Glad I didn't have any beer around here when this medicine was at full effect. 35% chance for found potions to have an 'alternate' delivery system. Would a elf using said alternate delivery system just make bubbles. DECANTER of Endless Water = Cool Magic Item. ENEMA of Endless Water = Cursed Item. Change one word & it goes from cool to cursed. Cool & Cursed both stat with 'C' & End with 'LD'.</p><p></p><p>6. After this, they devolve into stuff unprintable here or images that a Slaadi would say "What the Limbo are you talking about?"</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Vraille Darkfang, post: 2329757, member: 16989"] Well, I'm off the hard stuff. In fact, I wasn't SUPPOSED to be on the hard stuff, but after 2 hours of the dentist hammer around with a chisel (I wish I was joking), it became appent I was going to need something better than Novicane. (Thus why I had to drive myslef home (I wasn't supposed to be taking anything 'special', and had noone to call to take me home). Why are elves vegetarians? Well they seem to be the most harmonious with nature, and I've never seen that much about them haing a bunch of domesticated animals. So, aside from a fat squirrel, plump sparrow, & the occasional deer, I expect the vast majority of an elf's diet is plant related (like human hunter-gathers). Note: Keebler Elves thrive on Baked Goods, While Polar elves have to survive on all the Milk & Cookies their obese overlord can't choke down. So, if any core race is primarly vegetarian, it would be elves. Vegetarians fart more. Thus Elves Fart more than any other PC race (drugs + logic= WTF). It also appears Elves have really bad BO. Scene in Lord of the Rings where they go to the elven city should have been: "Frodo look at this! Oh my god! Can't breathe, help...." (Thud) Roll Credits. Thus we now know elves are a bunch of stinky people who fart all the time. No wonder people hate them. Other observations while using a prescribed medication. 1. While watching the Hummingbirds fight over the feeder (Nothing could be meaner than a half-dragon hummingbird. That's got to be one f***** up dragon to think 'Can I mate with that?') 2. While watching the 13 woodpeckers (that's an accurate count BTW) fight over the peanut feeder. (You can kill any treant by coating it in peanut butter. It will act as a Summon Monster IX Fiendish Dire Woodpecker spell). 3. Paris Hilton would make a good elf. A really, really, really skanky elf. Who used Int as a dump stat. Big time. 4. Bears do their business in the woods. Elves do their business in the woods. Do elves & bears ever hav that unconfortable silence when they both meet each other in the middle of the pure mountain stream and realize they've chosen the same spot. Do they compare sizes? 5. While hearing about how you can use a Beer Enema to fool a breathilizer test. (Glad I didn't have any beer around here when this medicine was at full effect. 35% chance for found potions to have an 'alternate' delivery system. Would a elf using said alternate delivery system just make bubbles. DECANTER of Endless Water = Cool Magic Item. ENEMA of Endless Water = Cursed Item. Change one word & it goes from cool to cursed. Cool & Cursed both stat with 'C' & End with 'LD'. 6. After this, they devolve into stuff unprintable here or images that a Slaadi would say "What the Limbo are you talking about?" [/QUOTE]
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