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EN World Short Story Smackdown - FINAL: Berandor vs Piratecat - The Judgment Is In!
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<blockquote data-quote="Dlsharrock" data-source="post: 4232652" data-attributes="member: 55833"><p>Ah, the ongoing war between writer and brain. </p><p></p><p>With regard to mental blocks, it helps, IMVVHO, to consider the positive aspects of storytelling, rather than dwell on the negative (in both the milieu of writing and your own talents). Dwelling on the negative, particularly voicing negativity out loud (see the quote above), invariably causes a mental block loop and spoils your chances of writing something cool. The loop is, of course, self perpetuating. If you get a mental block once, you'll expect it next time, and what the brain expects, the brain usually gets. </p><p></p><p>A simple trick: say out loud to yourself, and to friends, family, strangers on the internet etc, that you'll come up with ideas from the get go and won't experience mental blocks. Repeat until brain is convinced and you start to expect an easier time. Not a new trick, by any means, but it works wonders.</p><p></p><p>[SBLOCK=My thoughts on Piratecat/Orchid round (yay, finally have some spare time to comment!)]</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>It definitely helps to think of the two things (books and short stories) as different animals. It's easy, IMO, to mistake the two as similar because some stories use a comparable narrative structure. In fact, I think, a well conceived short story can be about as different from a book as a data spreadsheet is from a word processed letter, and I'm not just talking about length <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /> </p><p></p><p>On which note, congratulations Piratecat, but my vote in this instance would have gone for Orchid Blossom's piece. I loved your story idea Piratecat, really liked the idea of a first person dictation and you certainly display an awesome understanding of foundation writing, but for my preferences the story was a bit... hm... safe? It adhered a little too closely to traditional structure (set up, knock down, twist, baddaboom baby- the end) and I think there's scope, particularly in a competition like this, to experiment a bit and push the envelope more than a little. </p><p></p><p>Flawless structure and writing though. In terms of scoring rounds in CDM, I think this might be the best tactic to go with.</p><p></p><p>Orchid Blossom's piece, by comparison, was... well... how can I put it... beautiful, subtle, near poetic in places. Nothing is explained so bluntly that you know exactly what's going on first time, but with second and third reads you notice more, and I prefer this kind of tantalising suggestion to slap-in-the-face explanation. I did feel it was the superior of the two stories, perhaps not so conventional, but certainly more experimental. And beautiful. Did I mention beautiful?</p><p></p><p>Both, of course, were really very good and there's clearly no lack of talent here.</p><p>[/SBLOCK]</p><p></p><p>[SBLOCK=Critique/feedback of my two favourite stories (tadk's and mythago's)]</p><p><strong>Report on the Viability of Test Objects and Test Subjects by <em>tadk</em></strong></p><p></p><p>What can I say? I loved it!! Absolutely revolting and shiver-inducing. As the first story in the CDM I was praying this would set the tone. A horrible (in places disturbing) piece that pushes the envelope and plays around with both the conventional composition of a short story and our own expectations. Very subtle, so not to everyones' tastes, but subtle is by no means a bad thing and this story would not have looked the least bit out of place in Interzone or Third Alternative. The cold, clinical, dystopian world these awful experimenting... (aliens? Inter-dimensional beings?) creatures inhabit left me feeling rather sick, and there were some great parallels with our own health and safety obsessed culture. Want to study an oozing toothy maw in a can? Make sure you do it by the book! Hehe. Great.</p><p></p><p>In terms of writing I found the piece to be almost as flawless in its officious and clinical tone as Piratecat's more traditional narrative tone. Either tadk has a medical background, or he has a real flair for delving deep in his subject matter??</p><p></p><p>Well done tadk and commiserations that you didn't make the cut for the next round, I was really hoping you would as I'd like to see more of your work.</p><p></p><p><strong>Untitled by <em>Mythago</em> (suggest The Chippendale Boys In Search of Mister Right <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" />)</strong></p><p></p><p>Helluva confusing at first, but I loved it! Here's a story that turns the whole concept of tradition on its big gay head and slaps its lycra-clad ass with a feather duster. From the naming of characters (just sublime) to the stitch-face staccato gunfire style of scene set ups and dialogue. Here's a great lesson in how to throw everything out the window and let imagination take over. </p><p></p><p>Descriptions are minimal, but give you everything you need to know (with the possible exception of the first few paragraphs, but all writers are allowed at least one brain-burp in this thing I think). Characters are cartoonish, but fleshed out quickly with quirky dialogue and humour "You’re practically wearing a burqa by local standards." Imagination rules the day though, and that's what grabbed me, spanked me and left me chuckling. A plane with the AI of a puppy, a protagonist turned into an upside down tree (what the hell?!) and a BBEG called Criminal Procedure. Excellent.</p><p></p><p>If I have a complaint it's that this is more akin to the first chapter of a book (or even the second/third chapter) than a story within its own boundaries. I know this, because I was left wanting more and wondering what was going to happen next. Ending a one off short story on a cliffhanger is really not a very nice thing to do to a reader Mythago <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f609.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" data-smilie="2"data-shortname=";)" /></p><p>[/SBLOCK]</p><p></p><p>These were the main points I wanted to make about six pages back. As I mentioned then, I think all stories were really great and, though my opinion probably matters diddly in the greater scheme of things, I'd hate for anyone to think I was deliberately snubbing them or their story by not giving specific feedback.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Dlsharrock, post: 4232652, member: 55833"] Ah, the ongoing war between writer and brain. With regard to mental blocks, it helps, IMVVHO, to consider the positive aspects of storytelling, rather than dwell on the negative (in both the milieu of writing and your own talents). Dwelling on the negative, particularly voicing negativity out loud (see the quote above), invariably causes a mental block loop and spoils your chances of writing something cool. The loop is, of course, self perpetuating. If you get a mental block once, you'll expect it next time, and what the brain expects, the brain usually gets. A simple trick: say out loud to yourself, and to friends, family, strangers on the internet etc, that you'll come up with ideas from the get go and won't experience mental blocks. Repeat until brain is convinced and you start to expect an easier time. Not a new trick, by any means, but it works wonders. [SBLOCK=My thoughts on Piratecat/Orchid round (yay, finally have some spare time to comment!)] It definitely helps to think of the two things (books and short stories) as different animals. It's easy, IMO, to mistake the two as similar because some stories use a comparable narrative structure. In fact, I think, a well conceived short story can be about as different from a book as a data spreadsheet is from a word processed letter, and I'm not just talking about length :) On which note, congratulations Piratecat, but my vote in this instance would have gone for Orchid Blossom's piece. I loved your story idea Piratecat, really liked the idea of a first person dictation and you certainly display an awesome understanding of foundation writing, but for my preferences the story was a bit... hm... safe? It adhered a little too closely to traditional structure (set up, knock down, twist, baddaboom baby- the end) and I think there's scope, particularly in a competition like this, to experiment a bit and push the envelope more than a little. Flawless structure and writing though. In terms of scoring rounds in CDM, I think this might be the best tactic to go with. Orchid Blossom's piece, by comparison, was... well... how can I put it... beautiful, subtle, near poetic in places. Nothing is explained so bluntly that you know exactly what's going on first time, but with second and third reads you notice more, and I prefer this kind of tantalising suggestion to slap-in-the-face explanation. I did feel it was the superior of the two stories, perhaps not so conventional, but certainly more experimental. And beautiful. Did I mention beautiful? Both, of course, were really very good and there's clearly no lack of talent here. [/SBLOCK] [SBLOCK=Critique/feedback of my two favourite stories (tadk's and mythago's)] [B]Report on the Viability of Test Objects and Test Subjects by [I]tadk[/I][/B] What can I say? I loved it!! Absolutely revolting and shiver-inducing. As the first story in the CDM I was praying this would set the tone. A horrible (in places disturbing) piece that pushes the envelope and plays around with both the conventional composition of a short story and our own expectations. Very subtle, so not to everyones' tastes, but subtle is by no means a bad thing and this story would not have looked the least bit out of place in Interzone or Third Alternative. The cold, clinical, dystopian world these awful experimenting... (aliens? Inter-dimensional beings?) creatures inhabit left me feeling rather sick, and there were some great parallels with our own health and safety obsessed culture. Want to study an oozing toothy maw in a can? Make sure you do it by the book! Hehe. Great. In terms of writing I found the piece to be almost as flawless in its officious and clinical tone as Piratecat's more traditional narrative tone. Either tadk has a medical background, or he has a real flair for delving deep in his subject matter?? Well done tadk and commiserations that you didn't make the cut for the next round, I was really hoping you would as I'd like to see more of your work. [B]Untitled by [I]Mythago[/I] (suggest The Chippendale Boys In Search of Mister Right :))[/B] Helluva confusing at first, but I loved it! Here's a story that turns the whole concept of tradition on its big gay head and slaps its lycra-clad ass with a feather duster. From the naming of characters (just sublime) to the stitch-face staccato gunfire style of scene set ups and dialogue. Here's a great lesson in how to throw everything out the window and let imagination take over. Descriptions are minimal, but give you everything you need to know (with the possible exception of the first few paragraphs, but all writers are allowed at least one brain-burp in this thing I think). Characters are cartoonish, but fleshed out quickly with quirky dialogue and humour "You’re practically wearing a burqa by local standards." Imagination rules the day though, and that's what grabbed me, spanked me and left me chuckling. A plane with the AI of a puppy, a protagonist turned into an upside down tree (what the hell?!) and a BBEG called Criminal Procedure. Excellent. If I have a complaint it's that this is more akin to the first chapter of a book (or even the second/third chapter) than a story within its own boundaries. I know this, because I was left wanting more and wondering what was going to happen next. Ending a one off short story on a cliffhanger is really not a very nice thing to do to a reader Mythago ;) [/SBLOCK] These were the main points I wanted to make about six pages back. As I mentioned then, I think all stories were really great and, though my opinion probably matters diddly in the greater scheme of things, I'd hate for anyone to think I was deliberately snubbing them or their story by not giving specific feedback. [/QUOTE]
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