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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Herremann the Wise" data-source="post: 4237215" data-attributes="member: 11300">Match Three / Starman vs. MadwabbitARWINK’S JUDGMENTStarman / CycleStarman gives us a solid story, but for me it suffers a little because there’s no real moment of surprise, nor is the conflict given a context at the beginning of the story. Our character’s don’t progress or change until that last scene, and the set-up sets off my spidey-sense that says “wait for the twist” as soon as we switch to Chrotis’s point-of-view, especially in light of the very on-the-nose title. Worse yet, it actually ends just as the story gets interesting – you’ve provided us with a context for the conflict between the two wizards, and a hook us with a character that wants something that she can’t have. As an ending this is a little weak for me, but as a beginning it would be marvelous – just look at all the dangling hooks you’re presenting me with that I need to keep reading to see resolve! I wish that this story had more time to let itself develop, because I think the world and the set-up have been done an injustice by its brevity, and I think it would be a much more powerful story if we got to see the beginning of the cycle and its progression.Madwabbit / UntitledIt’s kind of unfortunate that you ran short on time with this, because I kinda dug the direction it was heading in. The voice holds, the use of sensory information to set the scene is good, and the arrival of the floating cities is a great core image. While the dialogue felt a little stilted to me – it reads like fantasy characters making epic statements to one another, rather than panicked people talking to one another in a crisis – there was a lot of promise here.JudgmentMadwabbit’s story came in late, so this round is going to Starman regardless. I think it would have been a close round though, and I applaud both competitors. I thought these images were actually the toughest to work with out of the first round thanks to their strong default-fantasy-world feel, and both competitors did a nice job of bringing their own individual touches to the settings they created.THE JUDGMENT OF HERREMANN THE WISEBy the unfortunate circumstances of madwabbit’s tardiness, my vote will go with Starman. The images for this match were interesting in that they were all fantasy themed. I wanted to see what a pair of competitor’s could do with stories that could exist completely within the realms of fantasy. While this may seem an easier task than usual for this competition, I actually believe in many ways it is more difficult. The genre can be so overloaded with tradition that to come up with something inspired that will hold the reader’s attention over a short word span can be very difficult. To differentiate your story from the hum-drum as well as your competitor's is a difficult task.Madwabbit has done quite well in my opinion with the short amount that was offered. There was the beginning of a story that could have gone on to be a well crafted piece of writing. I can only assume that a lack of time crippled Madwabbit’s chances. There was the start of an epic feel to the writing and that kind of feel can only be transferred to the reader with a large degree of space (in this case words). As I mentioned before, and I suppose with twenty-twenty hindsight, to try and cut an epic in 72 hours is going to take an awful lot of that 72 hours to do. Anyway, I suppose a thank you is in order for submitting what you had, and a commendation that it looked like the story was going to go somewhere interesting.  Better luck for next time.Starman has done a good job doing  justice to the images; quite an achievement when you consider this was done in fewer than two thousand words! By focusing upon the action, bombarding us with rich but un-explained terms and concepts and most of all keeping things tight, Starman has achieved a solid result. The twist at the end with Raida’s attitude to the two sorcerers was OK and felt right given the cyclical nature of the conflict between the two brothers. As an allegory, it could have been pointed in a variety of directions and perhaps this is something you could have pinned down to add further weight to the story. Perhaps the only major criticism I can give is the occasional expression that was overly worded or awkwardly presented. A good effort all the same!MALDUR’S JUDGMENTStarman: cycles, love, eternal damnation, I like it, especially the description of the magic, very well done.Crazy wabbit, where is the rest?Judgement: Starman, and not just because the wabbit was late.FINAL JUDGMENTStarman goes through but a special note of thanks to Madwabbit for not giving up completely.</blockquote>

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