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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Herremann the Wise" data-source="post: 4263871" data-attributes="member: 11300">Match Nine / Dlsharrock vs. EeralaiARWINK’S JUDGMENTSorry for the brevity of this folks: I’m still being hammered by work at present, and I wanted to make sure I got something to you rather than letting this drag on. Dlsharrocks story starts strong and holds together well – I’m engaged, I enjoyed the picture use, and the voice worked nicely. It all started to unravel a little by the end though, and I find myself dissatisfied with the conclusion. It’s kind of a resolution-that-isn’t, because the conflict that’s been driving the story isn’t actually resolved.Eerali gives us a solid beginning to the story, but the ending leaves me feeling a little flat. There’s a real reliance on backstory to drive the conflict – we only ever understand Cate’s actions through flashback  - and I think this needs to start earlier or finish later as a result. The militia crashing through isn’t a satisfying conclusion to the story as it stands, but it could be if we’re given a greater lead-in to set-up the relationship between Cate and the Professor which sets-up the tension between her desire and his research. Alternately, this would work as a beginning as well.JudgmentBoth of these stories start strong, with great voice and interesting set-ups, and both seem to drift into their endings rather than really hammer the story home for maximum impact. It’s a tough choice, but I think Dlsharrock takes the round. THE JUDGMENT OF HERREMANN THE WISEBeing round two and still only four pictures (next round has 5 pictures while the final will have 6!); I deliberately upped the ante on the difficulty level of the images. This set was weighed down (please excuse the pun) by a couple of dominant images that put extra creative demands on our authors. Dlsharrock and Eeralai have come up with two good stories and in truth I found this a tough one to split.Dlsharrock has done well in drawing his story together – although the title was a little trite. I enjoyed the longer ride and felt that the internal logic of the piece held together nicely. The twist at the end didn’t quite have me falling off of my chair but still, it was very neatly done. Picture use was of high quality with most images receiving a good work out. The glazed... “thing” was excellently used whilst the miniature helicopter was at the other end of the spectrum – but good enough in context.  All in all, this story scored well from me, I really enjoyed it.I loved the futuristic premise behind Eeralai’s story and the inevitability of technology it presented. By the end of the story, I had well and truly enjoyed myself but wondered what the real message behind the story was? I don’t think that the excellent foundation that was set up was taken advantage of by the finale. To my thinking, the choice that Cate took in the end was never a real choice. I think if there was a feeling that Cate could have reasonably refused the professor, it would have made the piece more fulfilling; the true theme of the piece being allowed to resonate. Aside from this quibble, there was so much of the piece to like. I thought the images were well used, the tone consistent and the pacing controlled. Congratulations on a fine effort with a difficult set of pictures.Splitting the two is tough but on this occasion, I’ll go with Dlsharrock by a whisker. I think this tale was the more complete package winning over Eeralai’s story that had better potential but a potential that was not quite fully realised. This was a really tough one for me.MALDUR’S JUDGMENTWhen I saw the pictures I almost wished for a story where the fat lady ...stayed the fat lady, but it seems cultural forces drove both writers towards the promise of skinny.DLSHarrock, nice chtuloidish story, nice twist in the tradition of the short story.Eeralai, cyberpunkish story nice technology, when do we get to read the rest of the book, as this story practicaly screams prologue.Judgement: Eeralai, as that story had nicer flow, and I am just a sucker for cyberpunkish stories.FINAL JUDGMENTDlsharrock wins but only just.</blockquote>

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