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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Dr Midnight" data-source="post: 600641" data-attributes="member: 69">SCENE 1EXT. – “CHEF TSO’S”- NIGHTThe CAMERA fades in from black and we see the outside of a happening restaurant from a low angle. People in elegant eveningwear are walking into CHEF TSO’S, the new Hong Kong hot spot for the elite. A pair of huge legs steps into view in front of the camera, facing the restaurant. They’re wearing rugged jeans and boots. Dangling above the ground are another, smaller pair of legs. BURLY MAN’S VOICEWell, this here’s the spot, Willy!We see that our old friend “CUDDLY” JACK STARKEY is standing there, holding WILLY WALLABY (as he’s been named) under one huge arm. WILLY is pinned and looking miserable. CUDDLY JACKWhy, when I got that invitation to the event: “Jack Starkey, plus one”, I just knew who I had to take along. WILLY(quietly) How did you find me?CUDDLY JACKNever mind that right now, eh? Let’s go inside and have ourselves a groozer. I’m starved. I could eat a whole cow meself. How ‘bout you, Willy? What are you gonna order?WILLYPlease let me go.CUDDLY JACKHa! That’s the ol’ Willy I know. Gimme a hug, ya poxy bruiser. JACK gives WILLY a big bear hug. Over JACK’S shoulder, we see WILLY begin to weep silently. INT. – CHEF TSO’S - NIGHTCUDDLY JACK and WILLY enter the restaurant. It’s huge… full bar, glamorous tables, chandeliers, flambé chefs, a disco floor, thirty foot high ceilings. The centerpiece is a gorgeous twenty foot high phoenix carving that has water fountaining off of it in different places and trickling down into an indoor pond. The phoenix’s head is blowing flame upwards, through a hole in the ceiling up to the sky, and “roasting” a giant hot dog suspended there. The phoenix’s head more than slightly resembles Godzilla. CUDDLY JACKHey, this is a right nice waller you got here, General Tso!CHEF TSO gets up from the table with a smile and goes to hug CUDDLY JACK. CHEF TSOJack!! How’ve you been? And… Willy Wallaby! Good to see you both. Please, come in, have a seat. He leads JACK and WILLY over to the table where the others have been seated. Here he’s keeping the friends he made at the incident, a year ago. CHAI TONG and CHEN YAU are here. CHEF TSOHey, everyone, look who’s here! It’s Cuddly Jack and Willy! Who wants a drink? Who wants two? Great idea!TSO quickly pours a drink for everyone and two for himself, which he “sips” from rapidly and alternately, with one in each hand. CHAI TONGI remember the ox well enough. Tell me- what is this thing? CHEF TSOIt’s a hot dog.CHAI TONGThe human body cannot ingest this western-style pig offal. Bring me food, please. CHEF TSOCan do. I hate hot dogs, myself… hey, who needs another drink? Anyone? CHEN YAUIf you hate hot dogs, Tso, why are you selling them?CHEF TSOIt’s, uh… It’s what I became famous for. Godzilla suit, roasting hot dogs, killing mooks, et cetera… It’s what the people want to have when they come to me. FEMALE VOICE, OFF-SCREENWILLIAM!!! Is that a drink in your hand?CHEF TSOGah! No, dear!The others look to see a beautiful yet dour looking woman glowering at him from the kitchen door. CHEN YAUWho’s the skirt, Willy?CHEF TSO(pounds both drinks down miserably) That’s my fiancé. CHEN YAUYour… why would you want to marry someone you clearly don’t get along with?CHEF TSOWhen I was three, I was engaged to Ling Ling over there… it became the last arranged marriage of the family. When I rose to chefdom and was unsuccessful in any real sense…CUDDLY JACKExcept for blowin’ stuff up, mate. You’re real good at that.CHEF TSOWell, blowing stuff up is not the mark of a good husband, as I’m constantly reminded. Anyway. Recently the marriage was put on the fast track, seeing as I now have more money than anyone someone like that could marry based on LOVE… She’s a beast. She doesn’t let me go out, she doesn’t let me throw my kitchen knives, she says I have to become a GOOD MAN. What about me? I don’t want to get married. It’s driven me to… (he slams down another glass of liquor) …distraction.CUDDLY JACKWell that’s great! I hope you two snozzers’ll be happy as lice in a nest of hog hair. Chen, what’s been doin’ with you these days?CHEN YAUWell, remember my captain? Big screaming guy who constantly threatened to bust me down to traffic cop? He finally made good on his threats.  CUDDLY JACKHard luck. So you’re a traffic cop now?CHEN YAUThat's right… I direct traffic. It’s no life for a cop.  CUDDLY JACKI bet it’s stopped you from explodin’ evildoers and havin’ kung fu duels in interesting locales, though, eh?CHEN YAU(sheepishly) Uh… well, yeah, for the MOST part… A little round woman walks over. She’s about 4’10”… in every direction. She has tiny little pudgy arms and legs, and a face like a coin purse. This is GRANDMA LINGGRANDMAWilliam, you have other people to attend to. Leave this rabble and attend to business. My granddaughter will not marry a lackadaisical goldbricker. CHAI TONG looks up at this woman and she looks at him, and immediately there is a fierce dislike.  CHAI TONGYou are very loud and slow. Quiet, please.GRANDMAExcuse me? My grandson-to-be has WORK to do, which I don’t expect any of you have any idea of. CHAI TONGIf work is your desire, then take this innards-stuffed half-sausage back to the kitchen and bring me something edible. GRANDMAYou should enjoy them... These “hot dogs” are fare for dimwitted, fast food eating western cattle. CUDDLY JACK is shoving a whole hot dog down his face and talking around it.  CUDDLY JACKI dunno, ih tase predda guh ta me.GRANDMAYes. William, we will find you new friends. Friends worth having. Come back to work, now.The camera shows in the background the door opening. A huge man walks through wearing a suit. He looks around and sees the group. CHEN YAUOh, crap… it’s the captain.</blockquote>

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