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Rocket your D&D 5E and Level Up: Advanced 5E games into space! Alpha Star Magazine Is Launching... Right Now!

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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Dr Midnight" data-source="post: 609600" data-attributes="member: 69">BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM!!! CHEN YAU is blasting out liquor bottles over the bar. Several mooks standing there are soaked. They raise their weapons at him, and he smirks, shaking his head. He fires a shot that pings off of a barstool. A spark flies… and the mooks go up in flames as the bar is consumed in fire. The ceiling is also entirely on fire, as GRANDMA diverted the flames through it briefly. CHEF TSO looks around and picks up the microphone to speak into the PA over the entire restaurant.CHEF TSOMy new carpet!! DAMN YOU!!! …Uh, all patrons of CHEF TSO’s, please evacuate the building in an orderly and safe manner. Please come back soon. All busboys, prepare to have the crap kicked out of you. He drops the PA and punches a mook in the face. The mook angrily raises a gun at him. TSO tosses the bottle he’s holding up into the air and grabs the gun out of the mook’s hand. He grabs the mook’s hand by the wrist and brings it toward him, using the mook’s hand to catch the bottle. He then dodges the mook’s other hand grabbing for the gun and spins out of the way, then tosses the gun behind him before kicking the mook in the gut, causing him to drop the bottle… which TSO catches. He then punctuates the cool moves by busting the mook in the nose. He takes a drink. The mook growls and swings a wild haymaker at TSO’s head, which is ducked. TSO reaches around the mook’s back and places his drink on the table there… for safekeeping. Some mooks have attacked CHAI TONG with knives and bats, while he’s holding the fire hose to the other mook’s face. TONG is easily dodging all their clumsy and flawed attacks… but CUDDLY JACK thinks he might need a hand. CUDDLY JACK Don’t worry, Confucious… I’ll save you. Peking… DUCK!JACK hurls the mook he’s been holding. TONG ducks the limp, flailing body… and the mooks beside him are struck. LING LING snaps the fan shut and swings it into the legs of the mook she’s facing. He falls down and cracks his head. From above, GRANDMA throws the red-hot cookie sheet at the downed foe. The mook manages to do a kip-up over the sheet, so that it lands under him… but his feet slip and he sprawls over it. He screams and quickly lights on fire. GRANDMA Ha… a roast turkey! Now we only need some garnish.CHEF TSOIt’s in the green bottles on the tables.GRANDMA(looks) But… that’s relish.CHEF TSO(blushes and shrugs while fighting) We call it garnish.GRANDMA LING watches, dumbstruck, as some brutish youngsters rush to the bottom of the phoenix statue and start to shoot at her. She doesn’t even dodge… she just glares at them from above. Then, she rolls forward and somersaults down the phoenix’s length, like a bowling ball with varicose veins, and smashes into the center mook. Her hands snap out and grab two salad tongs left over from the salad bar rubble… she then claps the tongs tightly over the mooks’ sensitive mook-parts. MOOKS AGHHH!!!GRANDMAGood boys get cookies. Bad boys get the tong twist. HYAH!She uses the tongs’ grips on them to flip them behind her. They crash into the phoenix sculpture and knock it backward, onto the ground. The flame starts blasting over the walls, right next to the door marked PROPANE STORAGE. CHEF TSOAww, wouldn’t you know it… everybody out, it’s about to blow!!!He knocks his mook out, who falls backward onto the table, smashing the bottle. CHEF TSONNOOOOOOOO!!!He and the others run out of the building and dive to the parking lot’s surface just before CHEF TSO’s blows up, sending a mushroom cloud into the sky. A pity… the place had only been open for four hours. CHEF TSO(brushes himself off) Sigh…grand opening.</blockquote>

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