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<blockquote data-quote="Keefe the Thief" data-source="post: 5373530" data-attributes="member: 49552">We all know him, the plague of the campaign, curse of the DM, bleach of the brain. Ever thince Elminster/Driizzt slashfic became all the rage on the interwebs, countless referees have gaped in wordless horror as the new guy pulled out a character sheet with the words &quot;drow&quot;, &quot;ranger&quot;, &quot;schimitar&quot; (sic) and &quot;kewl&quot; inscribed thereon. Creating a Driizzt clone is considered a hate crime in 7 European states, but both Germany and the US are still struggling with the necessary legislation. I say we have to take the first step to cure this disease. But trying to suppress the need of adolescent boys to hide their pimpled face by playing a wish-fulfilling whitehaired catlover would be equally harsh. No, we have to find a replacement, a character concept that scratches that itch without destroying our brains. ENworld is the biggest reservoir of DM-certified braincells, so let's try to be the Frankenstein that builds this messiah-monster destined to free us from suffering. I'll start: Hoodlum d'RawrBorn with the lyre already in his hands, Hoodlum learned from an early age that dual-wielding was the way to greatness. After several failed attempts with pointy objects (resulting in scars on his underarms), Hoodlum settled on wielding dire-badgers while travelling with his motley crew in search of adventure. After several enchanting attempts with fire or ice failed (resulting in unnerving animal noises), he settled on just enchanting their mouths (one as a bottle of air, the other as a decanter of endless water). Haunted by his dark past, he is hiding his most hideous secret even from his closest friends: he worked as a telemarketer in his fathers' company until the lure of adventure proved too great to ignore. Calling priestesses of Lolth to sell them Hello-Kitty shower curtains has ripped a gaping hole into his heart that can only be filled with mushy poetry and contiuous whining. He tries to repay society by slaying monsters and protecting the weak from those who are equally weak but much more nasty. Now's your turn!</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Keefe the Thief, post: 5373530, member: 49552"] We all know him, the plague of the campaign, curse of the DM, bleach of the brain. Ever thince Elminster/Driizzt slashfic became all the rage on the interwebs, countless referees have gaped in wordless horror as the new guy pulled out a character sheet with the words "drow", "ranger", "schimitar" (sic) and "kewl" inscribed thereon. Creating a Driizzt clone is considered a hate crime in 7 European states, but both Germany and the US are still struggling with the necessary legislation. I say we have to take the first step to cure this disease. But trying to suppress the need of adolescent boys to hide their pimpled face by playing a wish-fulfilling whitehaired catlover would be equally harsh. No, we have to find a replacement, a character concept that scratches that itch without destroying our brains. ENworld is the biggest reservoir of DM-certified braincells, so let's try to be the Frankenstein that builds this messiah-monster destined to free us from suffering. I'll start: [B]Hoodlum d'Rawr[/B] Born with the lyre already in his hands, Hoodlum learned from an early age that dual-wielding was the way to greatness. After several failed attempts with pointy objects (resulting in scars on his underarms), Hoodlum settled on wielding dire-badgers while travelling with his motley crew in search of adventure. After several enchanting attempts with fire or ice failed (resulting in unnerving animal noises), he settled on just enchanting their mouths (one as a bottle of air, the other as a decanter of endless water). Haunted by his dark past, he is hiding his most hideous secret even from his closest friends: he worked as a telemarketer in his fathers' company until the lure of adventure proved too great to ignore. Calling priestesses of Lolth to sell them Hello-Kitty shower curtains has ripped a gaping hole into his heart that can only be filled with mushy poetry and contiuous whining. He tries to repay society by slaying monsters and protecting the weak from those who are equally weak but much more nasty. Now's your turn! [/QUOTE]

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