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Message: <blockquote data-quote="hong" data-source="post: 227928" data-attributes="member: 537">Think? There is no think. There is only say.SO! Who's up for a celebrity smackdown between Cthulhu and the orc, for the pie? Of course, things aren't quite so one-sided as they may seem. Man, if Cthulhu went BLOOP after chowing down on a few measly iconics, his digestive system can't be that up to scratch, now can it? How is it gonna handle an orc, which are creatures infamous for their complete lack of personal hygiene, to say the least? Yes, you may say, he also chowed down on Krusk, who is half orc, although whether that's the left half or the right half is still undetermined. In fact, it could even be the front half vs the back half. That would actually make more sense. It's not so bad if your half-orc has an orcish front half, even if it's ugly. You do not want an orcish back half, though. But anyway, not casting any aspersions on Krusk, but he couldn't compare to a REAL orc. I'm talking about REAL orcs, which cultivate the vermin munching through their hair as lucky charms. REAL orcs have an Aura of Stench around them, deadly to 20 feet. You know the revised edition of the 2E PHB, whose cover has a human barbarian smashing down a door with the force of his B.O. alone? That's nothing compared to a REAL orc. REAL orcs don't notice things like doors, because the door has been eaten through by the smell wafting off them by the time they get there. And so, as I was saying, Cthulhu going BLOOP after crunching down some skin-and-bone iconics is not good if he wants to take on a REAL orc. Speaking of skin-and-bone iconics, what is it with Mialee and Vadania? Someone said something about elf racks being tiny, was that a reference to their rib cage? Because I can't see anything else on them that's big enough to be construed as being a "rack". Unless you're talking about Mialee's hair. Now that's BIG. You may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist, but that's peanuts compared to that hair. It puts certain 70s Hollywood stars to shame. She could stretch it out on a frame and use it as a sail, even. Or maybe to catch small flying insects, which probably form the bulk of an elf's diet, given their physique. Elf hair has ten times the tensile strength of steel!!! I heard it on the intarweb, so it must be true. Now all I need to do is find myself a radioactive elf to bite me, so I can gain super elf powers, just like Peter Parker. And then I will hunt down Forrester, He Who Hates Pansy Elves, and kill him. But in a nice way. Thank you.</blockquote>

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