ZEITGEIST Epic Rap Battle of History (Spoilers Adventure 7)

bojangles787 · Feb 22, 2023

Spoiler warning for the beginning of Adventure 7 in Zeitgeist.

Had a great time running the fey duel at beginning of Adventure 7 recently. The fey duel of boasted quickly turned into a rap battle. I really like how it conveys the alien and somewhat ridiculous nature of the fey, while also providing something that the players (as real people) can connect with. I prepared Lady Beshela's verse ahead of time, and gave my players about 5-10 minutes each to come up with their own. They were really good sports about it and had a lot of fun, so I thought I'd share the full exchange between everyone.

:Copperhat acting a second observer, providing a beatboxing in the background:

Lady Beshela

In the last 6 months I've been a calamity
Putting a dozen Risuri vessels to the bottom of the sea.
Risur has been busy with troubles in their land
But meanwhile I've done nothing but destroy their navy firsthand.
I sent my sharks, my kraken, my merfolk out to pillage
In fact one time I even sank a village.
Do you miss the captains? Where could they be at this hour?
Why, in fact, they were such delicious treats for my denizens to devour.

Jan (Gnome Rogue - Vekeshi Mystic) - the cat referenced is the Tabaxi in the party Switch

Pretty bold of you to sing praises of your crimes
With this over eager cat who is ready to serve you time.
Our role here to is protect these fine people.
Against any danger or threat, our fight is unequaled.

We know not the true source, or really the motivation
this poisoned gift you've brought seems a danger to both our nations.
We seek to have strong allies, we thought you could keep pace
but if you truly were deceived, perhaps our faith would be misplaced.

Copperhat & Lady B - both of you are playing games.
We have got real work to do, we could align our aims
But if you choose to double-cross me or plot to betray
I can guarantee you'll find the burning edge of my blade.

Lady Beshela:

Once I saved a handsome violinist in the middle of a hurricane
And afterwards he asked me to bring him to my fane.
We spent the next 3 weeks in incessant love-making
And I told him all the secrets of my land that left him aching.
When I return the man to shore, he remembered none of my focus
But instead wrote his own lovely magnum opus
The greatest symphony Risur ever created
Was in fact just pillow talk in a man's ego I inflated.

Orsik (Dwarven Monk - Eschatologist)

Fey Titan this,
Fey Titan that,
While wielding Srasama's blade we save the day,
We've earned our glory alongside Asrabey
You failed your cause, You failed your curse,
When this battle concludes, Your honor will need a hearse

:Orsik taps in Switch:

Switch (Tabaxi Ranger - Technologist/Beat Cop)

We welcomed you with a smile
You've returned it with guile

This 'gift' crosses the line
so you'll get more than a fine

We already dealt with Ekossigan
If you'd care to go for a spin

Your cowardice will not go without answer
When we are done you'll need a necromancer

We have no quarrel with the fey
but don't make us call in Asrabay

You could have stayed here as our guest
Now, unfortunately, you're under arrest

Lady Beshela:

Once a brother and sister stole a Danoran warship
Even before their eventual lordship.
I saved the lives of Aodhan and Ethelyn before they were royalty
and in exchange they offered me their loyalty.
It was a small price to pay to sink the enemy fleet
The promise of friendship and sunken treasure they did meet.
So I, in fact, did enjoy claiming their tithes
By unleashing the sleeping titan, She Who Writhes.

Lucan (Human Bard/Warlock - Docker/It's Complicated)

Let’s recap, you sunk some boats and hang out with fish.
You had sex with a man who went and made something beautiful… wait, what was it you did?
Oh and destroy a fleet, that’s an amazing accomplishment,
for She Writhes that is, you know who destroyed the entire regiment.
Let’s not forget the last time we saw you, you ran away.
Meanwhile we’ve been defeating dragons, saving nations, and fighting back the shadows made even your dear Evelyn afraid.
Lot of really neat boasts, but maybe try doing more.
Actions over words tend to settle the score.

The group didn't roll well, but with large bonuses they still got 2/3 successes. Enough to deem themselves worth a second look in the Unseen Court. Whether that's good or not...