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<blockquote data-quote="Chimera" data-source="post: 1782201" data-attributes="member: 2002">Had this chat with someone I know who was suprised that I was the only one who would tell him what his problem was in an open and honest manner.Problems in a relationship are like cancer.&nbsp; They make everyone uncomfortable, but no one wants to talk about them.&nbsp; We gloss them over and hope they go away on their own.&nbsp; We hope that the person with the problem suddenly &quot;gets a clue&quot; and figures it out on their own.But, like cancer, not talking about it doesn't make it go away.&nbsp; It festers and grows until it consumes the entire relationship.Talking about the problem is like surgery.&nbsp; It hurts.&nbsp; We don't want to do it.&nbsp; We're afraid it will kill the relationship.&nbsp; Heck, sometimes the other person isn't open to discussion of their faults and it DOES kill the relationship.&nbsp; But in that case, you have to face that the relationship is doomed anyway.&nbsp; You either throw yourself away putting up with the other person's behavior, or you end up walking away from them.So TALK.&nbsp; Bring the problems out into the light of day.&nbsp; With kindness and empathy.And be willing on your own end to admit fault or even see that what you thought was a Tarrasque of a problem was just the shadow of a mouse, blown up by your own issues.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Chimera, post: 1782201, member: 2002"] Had this chat with someone I know who was suprised that I was the only one who would tell him what his problem was in an open and honest manner. Problems in a relationship are like cancer. They make everyone uncomfortable, but no one wants to talk about them. We gloss them over and hope they go away on their own. We hope that the person with the problem suddenly "gets a clue" and figures it out on their own. But, like cancer, not talking about it doesn't make it go away. It festers and grows until it consumes the entire relationship. Talking about the problem is like surgery. It hurts. We don't want to do it. We're afraid it will kill the relationship. Heck, sometimes the other person isn't open to discussion of their faults and it DOES kill the relationship. But in that case, you have to face that the relationship is doomed anyway. You either throw yourself away putting up with the other person's behavior, or you end up walking away from them. So TALK. Bring the problems out into the light of day. With kindness and empathy. And be willing on your own end to admit fault or even see that what you thought was a Tarrasque of a problem was just the shadow of a mouse, blown up by your own issues. [/QUOTE]

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