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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Arrgh! Mark!" data-source="post: 1783708" data-attributes="member: 14559">Well, we sort of benched a DM.As per some previous posts, we had a FR campaign going quite well, with us straining for lordship over a fairly attractive land. All going well, we raid and capture a half-destroyed castle, and all of our characters spend pretty much everything we have to get it up and running, establishing ourselves as good lords of the domain.Then, we switch DM's. A player who none of us really liked much, but kept showing up for some reason despite the fact no-one ever told him we were playing*. So, he gets the rains of the FR campaign, and we all brace for damage control.Oh god, we didn't brace enough.Adventure goes like this: Kid comes to castle, knocks on door. Our butler answers, the kid asks for the (relative) lords of the demense. I (A paladin) get there first, greet the kid. Who immediately says something like 'Unless you go to the caves X by Y from here, you'll all die!'Me: 'Oh. Okay. Come inside, we have a cleric that helps children like you sometimes..'so the kid pulls a dagger and tries to kill himself. I attempt to stop him, fail, he begins to bleed to death with some other speech about how he's controlled by some illithid - DM not letting me use Lay on Hands, because a 10 year old kid is waving a dagger at me. Kid dies.I'm a 9th level paladin with Improved Disarm. *shrugs*Ahh well. Regardless, we all gather (takes a week or so - half of us are out, y'know, trying to establish our rule and all that). We get to X by Y cave, but see something led up to as a vast, minotaur-like guardian, radiating strength and power and so on. Takes half an hour to plan, six seconds to kill - a single normal hit from our fighter. So much for lead up.Anyway we go down his oddly described ramp/bridge thing, which goes from one featureless rock to another featureless rock, both as scaleable as the other. We get confronted with 100 feet high adamantium doors. Funny thing was, we couldn't do anything. We tried knocking. We tried searching for keys. We tried for secret doors. Nada. You see, stealthy and stuff were we. So eventually, our barbarian makes a little fib about his rages ignoring hardness. We wait as the hammering goes on. Remember this. Enraged barbarian hammering and rending a vastly hard substance. It comes in later.We go into a tunnel. Theres two junctions, but there's three - up but not up, sideways, no sideways, it's all about the place. Funny thing was, we couldn't understand a thing he was saying, and he couldn't understand why we were so lost. Eventually we just screamed to go in the first door, to which he said there was no first door. It took us half an hour! I remember clearly screaming 'I GO SOMEWHERE, <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /> IT!' We kill some duergar. We find an illithid in a cage, which has been trapped for millenia. We don't let it go, despite it's wishes to the contrary. We find a prismatic dragon, who tells us..er, something. It flies off. We find a 10 by 10 foot room with a sleeping monk. Me: 'Sleeping? After we bashed down a hundred foot door, rode horses wearing full barding, two people wearing full harness, and a dozen spells that ripped this place apart?'DM: Yep. Sleeping.Me: I detect evil.DM: She's evil all right.Me: I go and wake her.DM: Wake her? she's evil! She's a 25th level monk! She'll kill you all!Me: Okay, I don't wake her.Dm: But if you leave, she'll wake up!Rogue: I, er, go and slit her throat then. DM: She wakes briefly, but chokes on her blood and dies.Me: Right.After that, we released the Illithid, and he led us to a wonderful place filled with merchants giving away +5 armour for a quick laugh. We also levelled fifteen times, were given more weight in platinum than our castle, and met a man who breathed fire.I only wish I was joking.Sorry for the long windedness, but I suppose I had to get it off my chest <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f600.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":D" title="Big grin    :D"  data-smilie="8"data-shortname=":D" />*I expect treachery from the ranks.Extra: Oh, I forgot. There was a room with a water elemental, and the doors shut and water poured in. Also, there was some glyph of fear or something.DM: Make will saves.Sorcerer: 19! Plus four.. twenty three.DM: fails. You run.Me: Uh..I'm immune to fear.DM: Make a save anyway, add a +4 bonus. Me: Er..Thirty three.DM: Fails, you..Me: Oh, sorry, fourty three. I forgot the plus ten for the constitution and magic helmet and stuff.Dm: Oh..your alright then.Me: Guys, don't forget my aura. You all get +4, and you should remember all of your other bonuses too.Barb: (Honest guy) Damn. 3. Dm: *Gleeful* Fails!Sorcerer: Oh, I forgot..I don't get twenty three, I get thirty eight, with the paladins bonus and my other stuff, I've much higher wisdom.Dm: Oh, okay. Your fine.Fighter: Er, natural twenty.DM: Whats that add up to?F: Er, thirty. With the fear bonus.DM: Fails! You drown!It goes on.</blockquote>

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