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Experience Point: Cure Serious Wounds
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<blockquote data-quote="Umbran" data-source="post: 7651343" data-attributes="member: 177"><p>Okay, I hate that phrase... "let it go".</p><p></p><p>If a big man comes to you, and takes a Louisville Slugger to your knee, such that it bends in directions it was never designed to go, you won't be able to "let it go". That knee's function will be impaired, period. You can get surgery and a cast. Then go to physical therapy. You may recover, but you are likely to be walking with a cane. You will get arthritis in that knee. You're likely to develop a lifelong NSAID habit to deal with the aches, and those pills still won't touch it on those rainy days when it hurts so bad that you don't want to get out of bed. Your knee is there with you, always. It cannot be "let go". You may be able to choose to just accept it, but it is still there. The guy with teh bad does his job right, and you will never be a distance runner again.</p><p></p><p>Now, something like emotional abuse of a child, or beating a spouse, or combat PTSD, is like someone taking a Louisville Slugger to the parts of your brain that process emotion. The issues are *NOT* just a "state of mind" - there's actual physiological changes in what neurochemicals your body produces. And, like with the knee, you can go to therapy, you can get medications. And those will help, but your emotions are going to be screwed up. You cannot choose to "let them go".. Your brain produces them. That is it. You have to deal with them, for life. You may become functional, but your emotional function will always be impacted. You will not be emotionally stronger.</p><p></p><p>People have this dumbass conception that these things are under our conscious control, that you can will them to go away. You walk up to a person with clinical depression and tell them they just need to "let it go" and you show your profound ignorance of the actual functioning of the mind. It is right up there with "I know how you feel" for harmful things that can be said to someone suffering such an illness.</p><p></p><p>We, collectively, like to lump problems into small packages with simple solutions. Doing so often belittles the actual work required by the people suffering and working to get through.</p><p></p><p>Sorry, folks, but this is currently a passion of mine. Yes, there are lots of things that an already-healthy person can get through. Death of a loved one? Sure, most of us manage just fine. But there's things for which that expectation isn't reasonable, or fair.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Umbran, post: 7651343, member: 177"] Okay, I hate that phrase... "let it go". If a big man comes to you, and takes a Louisville Slugger to your knee, such that it bends in directions it was never designed to go, you won't be able to "let it go". That knee's function will be impaired, period. You can get surgery and a cast. Then go to physical therapy. You may recover, but you are likely to be walking with a cane. You will get arthritis in that knee. You're likely to develop a lifelong NSAID habit to deal with the aches, and those pills still won't touch it on those rainy days when it hurts so bad that you don't want to get out of bed. Your knee is there with you, always. It cannot be "let go". You may be able to choose to just accept it, but it is still there. The guy with teh bad does his job right, and you will never be a distance runner again. Now, something like emotional abuse of a child, or beating a spouse, or combat PTSD, is like someone taking a Louisville Slugger to the parts of your brain that process emotion. The issues are *NOT* just a "state of mind" - there's actual physiological changes in what neurochemicals your body produces. And, like with the knee, you can go to therapy, you can get medications. And those will help, but your emotions are going to be screwed up. You cannot choose to "let them go".. Your brain produces them. That is it. You have to deal with them, for life. You may become functional, but your emotional function will always be impacted. You will not be emotionally stronger. People have this dumbass conception that these things are under our conscious control, that you can will them to go away. You walk up to a person with clinical depression and tell them they just need to "let it go" and you show your profound ignorance of the actual functioning of the mind. It is right up there with "I know how you feel" for harmful things that can be said to someone suffering such an illness. We, collectively, like to lump problems into small packages with simple solutions. Doing so often belittles the actual work required by the people suffering and working to get through. Sorry, folks, but this is currently a passion of mine. Yes, there are lots of things that an already-healthy person can get through. Death of a loved one? Sure, most of us manage just fine. But there's things for which that expectation isn't reasonable, or fair. [/QUOTE]
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