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Message: <blockquote data-quote="el-remmen" data-source="post: 1170393" data-attributes="member: 11">Thank you, Pielorinho.  And thank you Dave Turner for an excellent round.  When I began to read your entry I said, "uh oh" - because I thought it was a lot more clearly presented and organized than my own.  Also, your entyr had a more centralized location and theme - and I thought the use of the unicorn was excellent (much better than mine).  I think if your entry had been a bit longer and you had explored the various encounters a bit more you would have (and should have) one.  I just felt like it was about half-finished when I read it. However a few comments on Pielorinho's comments about my entry (in the order I remember them in):Shadowy Unicorn: I guess in my mind the shadow template was a convenient method of applying cool abiltiies to the creatures from the dark realm - and I did not see those creatures as actualy being of shadow.  Thus, the unicorn could be golden and mistaken for Arrowheart.  I was rather proud of the idea of the unicorn's perceived madness in terms of its change of behavior was because there were actually two unicorns.  I guess I could have explained that better.Shadow Mastiffs: Another thing I could have explained better - or at least fixed with the addition of one sentence.  "The sheepdogs were not supposed to be gone longer than a day."Knarr's Motivations:  The betrayer's motivations were not power - he already had power.  Rather, it was the testing of this power against the greatest foe of his mistress.  It was kind of like being only a month two young to have fought in WWII or something - and forever hearing how tough of a fight it was against the Nazis when you consider yourself a great soldier (or something like that).  And the pursuit of this hubris is what led to his downfall.  He became what he hated.The Broken Teeth: By making the site of the funeral the site of one of Elhonna Ber-Raysel's greatest battles and linking it as a kind of nexus between the worlds I thought I brought that all together rather well.  Since Knarr needed a reason to draw everyone to that place.  I wanted to figure out a way to link the story of the dragon buried there to the dark realm as well - but could not.I look forward to the next round and will endeavor to do better.  Sorry about the errors and typos - I had meant to look it over one last time - but in the hurry to try to get it posted and freaking out - I had to do without.</blockquote>

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