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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Pielorinho" data-source="post: 1172745" data-attributes="member: 259">Judgment: Rune vs. MacbethBoth entries intrigued me right from the start.  One entry held up to the coolness of the initial summary, however, while the other one ended up disappointing me.First, some overall thoughts:Characters:  This match had more cool characters than any previous match.  Rune's hating brothers were a classic trope and evocative; although his zombie wyvern didn't exactly have a developed personality, it was weird and creepy enough that I could easily see its being a memorable character for players.  Macbeth, however, really shone in the character development, especially with his vengeful priest and innocent tutor.  Again, the old wyvern who was nonagressive but would defend his own life fiercely was an interesting use of the ingredient.Spectacle:  How could anyone NOT use a zombie swarm for a spectacle?  Both entries had multiple spectacles; in each entry, a town being destroyed by the zombie swarm figured prominently.  Rune's had also the faux-ghost in the graveyard and the nursery scattered with coffin-nails, both very cinematic scenes; Macbeth's crucifixion of an innocent man would have similar effects.  However, I don't expect the crucifixion would ever happen:  in a game of heroic fantasy, few PCs are going to agree to such a devil's bargain.Mood:  Strong moods appear in both entries.  Rune's adventure develops the theme of familial love quite well; vengeance and forgiveness and the complications of family are intertwined through the backstory and much of the adventure.  Macbeth's mood is much more one of vengeance and perverted justice; although these come through loud and clear, they're not drawn from the ingredients as Rune's mood was, and therefore aren't as strong for the competition.As for specific ingredients:Filthy Nursery:  Rune's nursery is one of three major scenes in his adventure (the others are the graveyard, and the streets of the town once the swarm descends).  Although I didn't really buy the explanation that the town's kids were raised communally, the adventure wouldn't really have suffered from removing that explanation entirely.  Macbeth's nursery suffered from not appearing in the adventure whatsoever: it was in a backstory, and the PCs may never even realize a nursery existed.  Furthermore, its filthiness (symbolic only) was a bit of a stretch.  Rune's use was clearly superior.Wyvern:  both wyverns were pretty lame.  The wyvern was drawn by the curse, Rune?  Why not a manticore, or a hill giant, or a plague of hell wasps?  Its wyvernness had nothing to do with the adventure.  Macbeth, at least, had a bit of an explanation:  the redemption to the curse required poison, and wyverns have poison.  Why not use some other kind of poison, however, some kind that's easier to obtain?  A brief explanation (e.g., that the Iron God considers wyverns an embodiment of corruption) would have sufficed; lacking such an explanation, the ingredient's use seemed arbitrary.  Rune's, however, was totally arbitrary, and therefore Macbeth's was better.Zombie Swarm:  when the nursery and the swarm both came up as ingredients, I knew someone would do zombie kids, and Rune didn't disappoint.  I was pleasantly surprised that their existence was well-justified.  Macbeth's locust swarm was cool and Biblical indeed in scope - but I could find no reason at all for them being zombie locusts. Indeed, a god of justice doesn't seem likely to me in most campaigns to raise zombies.  Without such an explanation of why they were zombies, this was a weak ingredient use.  Especially compared to Rune's horde of precious-moments killers.Nails:  Interesting uses both; I was a little surprised no one went with fingernails.  By this point in the story, Rune's curse is really working overtime with all the specific effects it's causing - and why does the curse care about writing kids' names on the nails anyway?  It's a good clue, but I'm not sure the story justified it.  Macbeth's magical nails of crucifixion were very creepy and very appropriate; even though I expect they'd never get used, their mere existence ought to be enough to propel the characters forward.  Macbeth wins on this one.Mistaken Hunch:  both of you had multiple mistaken hunches.  Both integrated them fairly well into the adventure.  One of Macbeth's was clever (the well-justified hunch on the cleric, weighted down with his own sins); the other, however, was problematic.  Obviously the tutor wasn't guilty; who was?  In not answering this question, the adventure is unsatisfying.  Further, the priest seems to have an especial interest in the suicide guy; are we supposed to suspect the priest, therefore?  Finally, couldn't this whole mistaken hunch be corrected via simple use of zone of truth?  Problems, problems problems.  All the same, I found Macbeth's hunches more interesting than Rune's.Familial love:  Rune's familial love was great, although I was initially skeptical:  an ingredient that figures into the adventure by its absence?  It worked, though, and indeed the multiple examples of familial love gone bad (brother kills brother, husband loses family, parents lose children, children return as zombies and kill parents) made this Rune's strongest ingredient.  Macbeth's familial love, on the other hand, wasn't nearly so impressive: it felt like a side-note, inasmuch as it only comes into play if the adventurers decide to crucifix an innocent man.Overall, Macbeth, I was pretty intrigued by your adventure from the synopsis at the beginning.  Unfortunately, I found it to be plagued with problems, both in terms of use of ingredients and in plausibility (see notes under "hunch" above).  With a bit of tightening, it could be great; certainly the basic idea of a town about to be destroyed out of a mistaken verdict is a cool seed for an adventure.  Rune's adventure needs some work in better incorporating the wyvern, but otherwise has a number of cool scenes in it, a collection of red herrings, and a juicy combat or two.Round goes to Rune.  Congratulations!Daniel</blockquote>

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