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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Piratecat" data-source="post: 1907892" data-attributes="member: 2">Well, it took me less tries than the Red Sox, so all in all I'm ahead of the curve.  <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f600.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":D" title="Big grin    :D"  data-smilie="8"data-shortname=":D" />A few comments:- I found the thematic similarity of these images extremely challenging. Sure, I could link it in a gallery or exhibition of some form, but doing so made it feel like an object-driven "parade of pictures" -- the story seemed solely driven by the illustrations. "We see this, then we see this..."  I don't care for that in my own writing, so the overly-long framing story occurred in an attempt to make you care one way or another about the characters. I agree that it's too wordy.- I've met some folks like Mondarian, overblown or not. I can't decide whether or not that's funny or terrifying. My use of the dismissal gesture was strained in retrospect; I should have found a more natural way to incorporate it.- Good note by Berandor on my changing POV. - I think this is my weakest story of the bunch, but I wanted a finishing bookend to Three Kings. I also wanted something approaching a happy ending. I seriously considered having Celia gouge out her own eyes to escape -- and then I said "For crying out loud, she's just seen everything in the entire world and it's broken her fragile little brain. Don't you think she'd have figured out a way to get out of the damn room?" For me it was akin to yelling at the movie screen "Don't snog in that parked car while the killer is loose with a hatchet, you idiots!" and having the couple on the screen do the smart thing and drive away. It was an epiphany that characters don't have to be self-destructive just in order to succeed. Of course, it was instigated by the occult plot device, but what the heck. . . I liked it a lot more than the other endings I considered.Anyways, thank you to the other competitors, the judges, and anyone reading this thread who doesn't have to! It fills me with wonder that I'm becoming a better writer because people are willing to take the time to run Ceramic DM. Definitely appreciated.And now? I'm going to go write story hour.</blockquote>

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