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Message: <blockquote data-quote="gizmo33" data-source="post: 2186569" data-attributes="member: 30001">I wish I had this sort of sense.  I had Asmodeus blip in and kill a long-running PC in my game a long time ago because I was mad at the way the PC had treated his henchman.   I think it's insightful for you to recognize that something happened to you on a personal level.  In terms of developing as a DM, IMO coming to terms with the way that you felt, and what caused you to lose control is where you stand to make the most out of this situation. Maybe this guy is just someone you can't play with.  I guess the first thing is to decide that.  If you think there's a chance that because it affected you so deeply that something else is going on, then I understand not wanting to make a quick decision to bounce him out of the group until you have your own feelings in order. Control is one of those BIG things about people in general, and it certainly applies to DMing.  DMs get upset when they don't feel like they have control over the game.  My guess is that is what is bothering you.  But you can have control without having to manage every detail.  Why not just have this guy keep shadow stats from now on?  (This assumes you're in the mood to reconcile).  Assuming that you can DM without fudging that sort of thing.  If he's not proven himself untrustworthy, it might actually help - especially when you've got hordes of goblins to deal with, it could be a time saver.  Once you know he's doing this, you can just check with him periodically.  But he has to respect that he's a backup, and that you are the final judge of the game.  I think the fact that he ambushed you with this is what was really disrespectful.  If he wanted to keep stats, why was it secret?  So this is a tricky situation and you might just have to bounce him from the game. I have a rules-lawyer in my campaign right now.  Rather than argue with him I treat him as just another rulebook.  Rather than look things up in the book, I just ask him.  Interpreting the rules is not his job, but I don't mind him telling me what they are.   I just I didn't need to be threatened by it.  Though it really bothered me at first.  Then again, it's important that this dude accepts my ultimate athority as the interpreter.  If he didn't, it wouldn't work.  Once I started asking him for rules quotes he really calmed down.  If I decide not to follow the rules as written, I simply explain why (as I've always done) and things just move along.  We get along a lot better now than we did when he first started playing, and I actually miss him when he doesn't show up to a game session and I have to flip through all of books.  It's like a rules robot - it's pretty cool.DM:  "Computer!  What is the DC of trying to cast a spell while riding a horse?"</blockquote>

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