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<blockquote data-quote="Torm" data-source="post: 1804545" data-attributes="member: 12706">There is a difference between writing someone off as a human being, and writing them off as not being worth your time and/or effort. I didn't mean that if you have a friend that occasionally still gets weepy sad now and then about their pet that died when they were ten, that you should write them off. I meant that when people have reached a point where they not only have a problem but they are actually acting in accord with that problem to turn their lives and the lives of those around them into swirling masses of nothing but their problems - well, then its time to find something better to do than worry with them. Especially if you have other duties to consider - the well-being of your family, other friends, gaming group, what-have-you. And besides it being unfair to you, it would be unfair to them for you to try to fix it, if you're playing armchair psychologist.And so you know, this isn't something I say lightly, or with any gladness in my heart - I had to take this approach with my own mother at one point. I love her even now, but after trying and trying to help her, I came to the realization that you can't help someone that won't be helped - and I was putting other people (my wife, kids, friends) at risk trying. I haven't spoken to her in over 6 years - the last time I went to one of the visitation days at the prison she is in for hiring someone to kill one of my friends for his insurance money (loooong story) - and I while I regret the reasons, I don't regret that decision at all.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Torm, post: 1804545, member: 12706"] There [I]is[/I] a difference between writing someone off as a human being, and writing them off as not being worth [I]your[/I] time and/or effort. I didn't mean that if you have a friend that occasionally still gets weepy sad now and then about their pet that died when they were ten, that you should write them off. I meant that when people have reached a point where they not only have a problem but they are actually acting in accord [I]with[/I] that problem to turn their lives and the lives of those around them into swirling masses of nothing but their problems - well, then its time to find something better to do than worry with them. [I]Especially[/I] if you have other duties to consider - the well-being of your family, other friends, gaming group, what-have-you. And besides it being unfair to you, it would be unfair to [I]them[/I] for you to try to fix it, if you're playing armchair psychologist. And so you know, this isn't something I say lightly, or with any gladness in my heart - I had to take this approach with my own mother at one point. I love her even now, but after trying and trying to help her, I came to the realization that you can't help someone that won't be helped - and I was putting other people (my wife, kids, friends) at risk trying. I haven't spoken to her in over 6 years - the last time I went to one of the visitation days at the prison she is in for hiring someone to kill one of my friends for his insurance money (loooong story) - and I while I regret the reasons, I don't regret that decision at all. [/QUOTE]

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